Rachel

Lyrics

Right now, I'd like to do my imitation of bowling. [rolling sound] Gutter. Took me a year and a half to write that. I didn't know how to word it. --- [strums guitar] I don't know how to play this. I'd like to play everything the Beatles ever recorded. I won't do all of "Hey Jude". [strums guitar] What are these strings for? --- I wanna tell you about the girl I'm seeing now. I met her in Macy's in New York City. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalators. The girl I'm seeing now, her name is Rachel. She's a very pretty girl. She has emerald eyes and long, flowing plaid hair. The last week in August, we went camping way up in Canada. We were laying around in the woods and stuff and... I don't know how she did it, but... Rachel got poison ivy on her brain. The only way she could scratch it was if she thought about sandpaper. She's a rich girl. She's from somewhere else. And her father is an incredible millionaire. You know how he made his money? He's the guy who designed that little diagram that shows you which way to put batteries in something. --- Hey, hey, Rachel, dear How I wish you were here Hey, hey I can almost see you --- Having sex with Rachel is amazing. It's like going to a concert. It really is. She yells a lot and she throws frisbees around the room. When she wants more, she lights a match. --- Hey, hey, Rachel, dear How I wish you were here Hey, hey I can almost see you --- That was fun.