Lyrics

Years ago, I worked in a natural, organic health food store in Seattle, Washington. One day, a man walked in and he said, "If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?" I said, "I don't know. Let me ask Tony." Two days later, I was fired for eating cotton candy and drinking straight Bosco on the job. So I figured I'd leave the area... 'cause I had no ties there anyway, except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes. I really wasn't into meditation; she really wasn't into being alive. I told her I knew when I was gonna die 'cause my birth certificate has an expiration date on it. Decided to leave and go to California, so I packed up my Salvador Dali print of two blindfolded dental hygienists trying to make a circle on an Etch A Sketch. And I headed for the highway and began hitching. Within three minutes, I got picked up by one of those huge trailer trucks carrying 20 brand new cars. Climbed up the side of the cabin. I opened the door and the guy said, "I don't have much room in here. Why don't you get in one of the cars in the back?" So I did. And he was really into picking up people 'cause he picked up 19 more. We all had our own cars. Then, he went 90 miles an hour and we all got speeding tickets. I had the photograph on my license taken out of focus on purpose. So when the police do stop me, they go... [pauses] "Here. You can go."