Water

Lyrics
I got up this morning. I couldn't find my socks, so I called information. I said, "Hello, information?" She said, "Yes?" I said, "I can't find my socks." She said, "They're behind the couch." And they were. I'm tired of calling up the movies and listening to that recording of what's playing, so I bought the album. Last time I went to the movies, I was thrown out for bringing my own food in. My argument was, "The concession stand prices are outrageous! Besides, I haven't had a barbecue in a long time." Went to the [???], "Adults, $5; children, $2.50". I said, "Alright. Give me two boys and a girl." One time, I went to the drive-in in a cab. Movie cost me $95. I went in to a place to eat. It said, "Breakfast any time." So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. One time, right in the middle of a job interview, I took out a book and I started reading. The guy said, "What the hell are you doing?" I said, "Let me ask you one question. If you were in a vehicle and you were traveling at the speed of light and then you turned your lights on, would they do anything?" He said, "I don't know." I said, "Forget it then. I don't wanna work for you." Every night, I go home and I stare at my rug and I try to move it using telekinesis. Been doing that every night for eight years. The rug hasn't moved an inch. The rest of the house is gone. A while ago, I was in Las Vegas. I was at the roulette table having a furious argument over what I considered an odd number. That's pretty funny. I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add. I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now, he's gone.
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