Baby Boom

Lyrics

Oh God, you know I'm forty odd I read it in a magazine Eek squeak, I'm practically antique And yet I feel about thirteen (well most days) Oh God, I'm such a barmy sod I read the tea leaves in my cup But all that they Ever seem to say Is for Christ's sake grow up Oh flip, I need to get a grip I've never learned to ski or punt (go easy) Ooh aah, I fasten up me bra By twizzing it around the front (how sleazy) For God's sake, give a girl a break Why am I so insecure? I could take a header Into vintage cheddar And still not be mature Tee hee, born in fifty three The middle of the baby boom Couldn't dance, never had a chance There was never any bleeding room (quite frankly) Boo hoo, I'm in a blooming queue The baby boom is headed west Well we did the twist Then we all got pissed In a tie-dyed granddad vest Can't win, never fitted in Never was a sixties child (those sizzlers) No point, couldn't roll a joint Used to drive me boyfriend wild (his Rizlas) Spots, specs, terrible at sex Lay there like a stunned gazelle I was thirty three When it dawned on me That girls could move as well Fair dos, I managed sex and booze But rock and roll got clean away (and smoking) Big fan of Brotherhood of Man I kissed their picture every day (I'm joking) Ooh err, I'd never heard of Blur 'Cos actually you know I've gone Right from 10cc Straight to HRT Turning left at Elton John Hey hey, baby on the way Eighties mothers really tried (they rambled) No drugs, wrap yourself in rugs Eat your own placenta fried (or scrambled) Swear, curse, I'm shouting at the nurse She said "Just do the best you can" I felt such a fool In the birthing pool In the middle of a hosepipe ban Stone me, now I'm forty three Can I see the years ahead, I can (white sandals) Ex-Lax, elasticated slacks Weekends on the Isle of Man (no vandals) Jigsaws, I won't go out of doors Without a hat upon me old permed head I shall crochet dolls In me Dr Scholls In the middle of me folding bed Hey ho, I don't know God gives us all a place on Earth (like Crawley) How sad, the life I might've had If I'd been swapped at birth (Sue Lawley) Ho hum, I've got it all to come Tomorrow is another day Well I'm five foot five And I'm still alive And that's all I want to say