Shape of You

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Mark Douglas as Ed Sheeran] Guitar isn't the best way to write a banger So a Sia track is what I stole All that you need is a simple xylophone And a little bit of reggaeton And this video concept is me and this hot chick We're boxing and snogging in track pants But it's sort of disjointed and misses the point when The lyrics and the shots don't match, like if I sang [Pre-Chorus: Mark Douglas as Ed Sheeran] Now we're eating Chinese food And we're skydiving nude with Katy Perry But we're sat here drinking tea You'd say "what's even happening?" Tattoos, snogging, boxing moves Don't hit me face or any placе I've been inked I'm sick of all this training I've gotta tеll you something, it's true [Chorus: Mark Douglas as Ed Sheeran] I'm in love with the parts on you Specifically your butt cheeks and boobs I guess your face will have to do (hey!) It's attached to dat body That reaction was quite rude No big deal, I still feel your boobs Even though you broke my heart, my nose, and tooth I wanna marry dat booty Ooh, ahh, ohh, ahh, err, ahh, ohh, why? Hey, no fair, that's karate Oh my, you just broke my whole thigh But it's kind of erotic Oh, you almost poked out my eye This is not proper boxing Sorry baby, if I made you feel reduced I just forgot there's a face on you [Verse 2: Mark Douglas as Ed Sheeran] One week later, I forgive your behaviour And I'm finally able to walk Well, I'm still kinda iffy on just why you hit me But I'm still in love with your box-(ing skills) Most girls swoon when they hear me croon About how much I love their tasty cakes (ow) Why did you smack me? I just said I'm attracted To everything that isn't your face (bollocks!) [Pre-Chorus: Mark Douglas as Ed Sheeran] You detached my retinas Some girls give head but you give head injuries I found another lady This is Sandy, she supports me She's tall, solid, firm and tough Gives me no guff, her love is everlasting Come on, let's go Sandy I can't ever get her to leave the gym [Chorus: Mark Douglas as Ed Sheeran & Yaya Williams] I'm in love with this white girl too She's always hot, wet and in the mood Dries my tears when I'm feeling blue But she smells kinda funky And I can always replace you I've got this bird that models swimsuits Every day I pick her up and we go screw She's got such a hard body You've completely lost your damn mind I'm OK, I can manage A, E, I, O, U, sometimes Y See, my dain isn't bramaged Wait, let me give something a try Why's this mannequin on me? Wait, I think you fixed my brain, it feels brand new I'm in love with the whole of you [Interlude:Mark Douglas as Ed Sheeran & Yaya Williams] (Get it? The hole of you. The hole of you) (Yeah, you're better) [Chorus: Mark Douglas as Ed Sheeran & Yaya Williams] I'm an actor, not your boo Wasn't paid to take your abuse Let's get the last scene of this shoot What is it? I've forgotten You have to fight that sumo dude Who came up with this concept? You! What the hell does any of this have to do With a song called "The Shape of You?"