Santa and I Know It

Lyrics

[Verse 1] (Ho! Ho!) When it's Christmas time, everybody's waitin' in a big ass line To sit on my lap and beg for Elmos, iPads and crap, yeah Brats are outta control, my elves are doing nothing but shovelin' coal Older girls sit on me And get their picture taken ironically, hey [Pre-Chorus] Girl, look at that belly Like a bowl full of jelly As seen on the telly It sticks out I come down your chimney Though it don't quite fit me Why do I smell kindling? Put it out [Chorus] My doctor told me I had diabetes That's what happens when you eat a hundred billion cookies I still deliver all this booty It don't matter if its drizzlin', freezin', sleetin', blowin, snowin' I'm Santa and I know it I'm Santa and I know it [Verse 2] Yo I got a big ole gut, I ain't nutcracker but do bust nuts Girls love the taste of my sugarplums and my candy cane I got a list of naughties, it's pretty much a listing of all my shawties Wait, let me explain it, Mrs. Claus and I have a special arrangement, yeah [Pre-Chorus] I'm jolly and burly I never come early I'm stuffin' your turkey Check it out When ladies get nippy I'm makin' deliveries From Dallas to Sydney Then I'm out [Chorus] Single moms are friendly every Christmas Eve When the night comes to an end, my sack is always empty I got a 9-inch beard and I ain't afraid to grow it, blow it, show it, comb it, stroke it I'm Santa and I know it I'm Santa and I know it Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle bells Tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle, elves Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph, sail I'm Santa and I know it