Modern Monster Mash

Lyrics

[Verse 1] You remember in the 60's when I invented the Mash? Well, now the time has come for me to update that smash Since I've been out of the fright game for 52 odd years I invited a new crew to spread spooky cheer The first to arrive was Dr. Hannibal Lecter He brought his own date and he seemed to respect her They hit the dance floor with a jive and a jitter Then he, he ripped off her face! He's pulling out her liver! [Chorus: Mark Douglas as Boris & Mark Douglas as Jigsaw] (That's really gross!) Oh my god, what just happened? (He ate her face) Yes, I know, I saw! (Speaking of Saw...) I like to play disgusting games (He broke his jaw) that is way too graphic, I'm going to faint! [Verse 2] Surely all the other guests won't be this rude Like this classic monster: a scary, hip dude He's got a kooky style and a spooktastic look Oh my god! He just hung the waiter on a meat hook Why?! [Chorus] (He's Leatherface!) He's cutting him up with a chainsaw (It's what he does!) Who is Freddy Krueger? (He haunts your dreams) Ooh, he sounds like a real spooker (I murder teens) You can't escape me, bitch! Language! [Verse 3] In my day, the monsters would just give you a spook Nowadays it seems they all just want to make you puke Ah, the Human Centipede, that sounds like a hit Wait, the ones in back have to eat the front one's shit? Enough! The party's over, everybody out You all have no idea what Spooktober is about Here comes the Wolfman, he'll show you how it's done He knows how to be creepy but he always keeps it fun [Verse 4: Mark Douglas as Boris, Mark Douglas as Jigsaw, Mike Birch as Hannibal Lecter & Todd Womack as Leatherface] Nooooo! That was my friend! Why did he meet such a horrifying end? Is it too much to ask to have some monsters dance? It's really quite a hoot if you give it half a chance! This guy won't let it go, I think it's rather sad Guys, I feel guilty. And I also feel bad Let's give him a couple moves, it's the least we can do Okay, places everybody And a one, and a two [Chorus: Mark Douglas as Boris & Todd Womack as Leatherface] (Look at us dance!) You did the monster dance? Hey look, jazz hands! Don't twist too fast! (Our skulls are smashed) Ah great, it's the girl from The Ring (Her heart is black) Ooh, she really knows how to swing [Outro: Mark Douglas as Jigsaw & Todd Womack as Leatherface] I wouldn't look directly at her face if I were you- Oh well, we tried He died doing what he loved Monster choreography Hey guys, I know a game we can play Guys? Anyone? No?