“Douches” - Heathens Parody

Lyrics

[Chorus: Mark Douglas and Doug Larsen] All my friends are super douchey bros Always doing fist bumps that explode Don't make eye contact with these goons They want to show you their dope tattoos Listening to Creed and Papa Roach Entourage is still their favorite show They stare directly at your boobs Don't ask them their political views [Verse 1: Mark Douglas] Welcome to the room where people idolize the people in GTA So they live that way These are all the wankers with thе prank channels But the pranks are stagеd "Fake and gay" [Pre-Chorus: Mark Douglas] Can't avoid the fuckboy manspreading next to you Blowin' his E-cigarette vapor on to you Rapping out loud on the train during your commute But don't blame them They're just inbred [Chorus: Mark Douglas and Doug Larsen] They supported Trump but didn't vote Mask their fears with Hugo Boss cologne They don't pass the ball when playing hoops "Deez nuts" is a phrase they often use [Verse 2: Mark Douglas] They ask for separate checks on a first date They say you'd be hotter if you lost weight Their profile pics are all shirtless Swipe right and you might receive a dick pick [Pre-Chorus: Mark Douglas] They take mirror selfies in the locker room You're dancin' with your friends when they creep up next to you Their pick up lines are guaranteed to make you puke "Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" [Bridge: Mark Douglas, Everyone] VOMIT! "Is your daddy a thief cause I think he stole the stars and..." VOMIT! "You must be tired cause you've been running through my mind all night" VOMIT! [Chorus: Mark Douglas and Doug Larsen] They meet in the toilet to snort coke Order Jagerbombs until they're broke They text in the movies next to you They don't give a fuck about previews They yell things like "Superman that ho" What that means I do not want to know If you cannot spot one in a group Be careful the d-bag could be you Skit: Doug Larsen, Mark Douglas Ending a minor song in a major chord is kinda douchey Totes douchey Let's get some fro-yo