“Close Enough” - Closer Parody

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Mark Douglas as Drew Taggart] Hey! I just looked in the mirror and I noticed That my face looks kind of gross And I've gone grey Wait! I was supposed to stay 23 forever But I get more fat and bald everyday [Pre-Chorus: Drew Taggart, Doug Larsen as Alex Pall] I sound like a dumb jerk Who doesn't understand how ageing works but This vlogger on YouTube Said if I make green juice and I don't eat gluten I don't have to exercise I forwarded the link to this guy Hi [Chorus: Mark Douglas and Doug Larsen as The Chainsmokers] That's why we are chainsmokers And we always are hungover Doesn't matter anymore Just eat kale and flax granola Buzzfeed said we'd be immortal But my buddy has a cold We look grosser than Ann Coulter How come we are getting older? Just play this over and over This riff gives you an ear boner [Verse 2: Jenna Rubaii as Halsey, The Chainsmokers, Mark Douglas as Daniel Day Lewis] Dudes! Just cuz you started eating okra Don't mean you can be chainsmokers But it's our name Wait! That doesn't mean you have to do it Are you the Daniel Day Lewis of DJs? "I've abandoned my boy" [Pre-Chorus: Halsey] You guys should do a cleanse I read all about it in a blog that's trending Don't go gluten free Unless you really have celiac disease At least that's what I read online Wait- Web MD just said I - am dying [Chorus: Drew and Halsey, Mike Birch as Dracula, The Chainsmokers and Halsey] So maybe life is over There's no stopping getting older No use trying anymore Smash my head in with a boulder Let me tempt you with an offer To immortalize your souls I can bite your head and shoulders And you won't ever get older Take some time to think it over We don't need to think it over Can I be in The Chainsmokers? Sure whatever, that sounds kosher [Outro: Drew and Halsey, Dracula, The Chainsmokers and Halsey] So baby say aloha To your selfies by the ocean Can't go tanning anymore But you won't get carcinoma Say goodbye to your Coronas And you'll have to pre-record Life with Kathie Lee and Hoda It's all right here in the folder We ain't never getting sober And we don't have to do yoga Yes, now I am a chainsmoker Photoshop me in the poster We are pals like Fey and Poehler You're the Scully to our Mulder Now let's jam, that is an order Cus I play a mean recorder "Nice vamping"