Jazz Age/Subtle

Lyrics

(The commentators become 20s style radio announcers.) (Music of the giddy jazz-age.) (The contestants start dancing.) SAMSON: It's a Jazz Age Prohibition Era Speakeasy, Jaynie, would you look at that? JAYNIE: Ruffle your tail feathers! SAMSON: Shake your beaded tassels MO: Wag your bran muffins! SAMSON: Let's get a mid-heat pulse on the contestants shall we? How all you dolls— JAYNIE: Dames— SAMSON: Dicks— MO: And dead soldiers--! JAYNIE: Linguistic Fact: "Dick" with a K, has been used to refer to detectives since the beginning of the 20th century and persons with penises way before that - SAMSON: HOW ALL YOU DOIN' TONIGHT? ALL: WE DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT US TO BE CAUSE TONIGHT WE'RE FLIPPING ON THE MOON GIVE ME A GIN AND MOLLY 'CAUSE TONIGHT BY GOLLY GONNA CROON GONNA SWOON GONNA SHATTER MY COCOON POUR SOME GLITTER ON MY FACE AND LAUGH LIKE AN IDIOT (ROYSHANNA and NICKI are trying to refill plastic martini glasses from their Hello Kitty (or otherwise Kawaii) flask without anyone noticing.) TYE: I FEEL GREAT! DAKOTA: ME TOO! ROGER: YOU DO? GRACE: WHAT'S IN THE PUNCH? HARPER: I FEEL GIDDY ALL THE SUDDEN! TYE: POSITIVELY SPINNING OUT OF CONTROL! JANELLE: DO DO DO DO DO! HARPER: NO SINGING IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE WORDS, JANELLE! JANELLE: NO SINGING IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE WORDS, JANELLE! SORRY JANELLE drinks some punch JANELLE: WHAT'S IN THIS PUNCH? CYRUS, ROGER, ROYSHANNA, NICKI: WHAT'S IN THIS PUNCH? ROGER: DON'T DRINK THE PUNCH CUZ IT'S PROBABLY SPIKED DAKOTA: OH BUT I'M DANCING NOW, AREN'T I? ROGER: DAKOTA IT'S ILLEGAL TYE: HOW 'BOUT YOU? GRACE: NO THANKS I'M GOOD WITHOUT IT TYE: YOU'RE SO SWEET GRACE: YES I KNOW TYE: GOTTA GO GRACE: TYE WAIT ROGER: IT'S ILLEGAL! (ROGER takes away DAKOTA's glass of punch; she tries to get it back.) DAKOTA: Roger - I'm not the only one drinking! ROGER We should be setting an example DAKOTA: Ok, Mr. 1600 ROGER: 1590 - you know I missed a question DAKOTA: If I have to hear about that fucking question one more time I'm gonna shoot Myself! SAMSON: Is there a giddy energy in here or is that just the giggle juice bumping my gums? JAYNIE: I've never seen so much enthusiasm for a ring-a-ding-ding without a side of Mickey Finn MO: Really? They all seem kind of high to me JANELLE: (screams) Oh my God I'm so trashed, this is awesome! ROYSHANNA(trying to temper Janelle): Whoa whoa whoa whoa (The music changes; Royshanna and Nicki sing to Janelle.) ROYSHANNA: LET'S TAKE A MINUTE AND COLLECT OUR THOUGHTS EVEN THOUGH I KNOW YOUR MIND IS A LITTLE BIT SHOT YOU WANNA BURN YOURSELF UP AND GET A LITTLE BIT CRACKED THAT'S FINE BUT THINK ABOUT THE WAY YOU ACT SCREAMING LIKE A FOOL, "I'M SO MESSED UP!" YAPPING YOUR MOUTH LIKE A LITTLE PUP NOW YOU'RE GONNA GET CAUGHT GONNA CATCH YOURSELF IN A SPOT NICKI: I'VE BEEN TURNING ON SINCE I WAS JUST THIRTEEN WITH A LITTLE BIT OF LIQUOR AND A LOT OF GREEN I APPRECIATE THE WAY THAT MY MIND TURNS ROUND GETS A–MESMERIZED BY THE SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF THE WORLD OUTSIDE OF MY LITTLE HEAD IT'S A LITTLE MORE CRAZY AND A LITTLE LESS DEAD BUT ONE THING I KNOW IS YOU GOTTA KEEP COOL CUZ YOU NEVER WANT TO DEAL WITH A BUTTON-UP FOOL WHEN YOU'RE BUZZING AND FLIPPING AND SINGING LIKE A BUMBLE BEE SO TAKE IT FROM ME BOTH: TAKE IT FROM ME YOU GOTTA BE SUBTLE SUBTLE KEEP IT ON DOWN DON'T ADVERTISE WHEN YOU'RE MESSING AROUND (x4) ROYSHANNA(to Janelle): Here, watch Hey Cyrus! CYRUS: Royshanna, Nicki - How are you two? ROYSHANNA: Subtle, thanks, and how are you? CYRUS: What's it black out? NICKI: Whatever you want it to CYRUS: Mind if I join you? NICKI: Don't mind if you do So long as we're subtle ROYSHANNA: Subtle NICKI: Subtle CYRUS & JANELLE: SUBTLE NICKI: I WANNA SPARKLE UP, I DON'T WANNA BE A DRAG BUT I JUST DON'T SEE WHY THESE KIDS HAVE TO BRAG MY INTOXICATION IS A LITTLE SECRET IT LOSES ITS ROMANCE IF YOU GO AND LEAK IT ROYSHANNA: AND I'M SO COOL I'VE MASTERED THE ART OF SAYING MY LINES AND PLAYING MY PART TEACHER ASK A QUESTION I STAND UP STRAIGHT POP MY COLLAR AND SMILE AND CONCENTRATE USE MY LOGIC AND FLOW ANSWER PROBLEM NUMBERS 1 THRU 9 CYRUS: That's fine, that's fine ROYSHANNA: IT'S NOT JUST FINE IT'S BOTH: SUBTLE SUBTLE KEEP IT ON DOWN DON'T ADVERTISE WHEN YOU'RE MESSING AROUND (x4) JANELLE: And if they ask: "Are you sober?" ROYSHANNA: Of course, Sir! NICKI: What a question ROYSHANNA: What a query! NICKI: Your suspicions, sir, leave me frightfully weary ROYSHANNA: Of course we're sober! NICKI: What'd you see, Mister? ROYSHANNA: What'd you eyeball, copper? NICKI: What'd you spit over here, wet torpedo!? JANELLE: Depends ROYSHANNA: Depends on what? JANELLE: You got any more? NICKI: Just promise us one thing: JANELLE: Yes, yes, yes - ALL: WE GOTTA BE SUBTLE SUBTLE KEEP IT ON DOWN DON'T ADVERTISE WHEN YOU'RE MESSING AROUND (x2) NO ONE WILL NOTICE WE'RE OUT OF CONTROL NO ONE WILL KNOW WE'VE LET LOOSE NO ONE WILL NOTICE WE'RE FALLING APART AND OUR NECKS ARE IN THE NOOSE FASTER AND HARDER AND SPIRALING DOWN BLACKING OUT WITH KALEIDOSCOPE NIGHTS SMILING AND NODDING AND CRASHING OUR CARS BLINDED AND FRIED BY THE LIGHTS NICKI: Subtle ROYSHANNA: Subtle NICKI: Subtle ROYSHANNA: So we don't get in trouble (NICKI dips.) NICKI: Whoops! ROYSHANNA: I don't think anybody saw that NICKI: Pass it off as a move ROYSHANNA: Pass it off as a shake NICKI: Pass it off as a lindy hop ROYSHANNA: What? That is just how I walk NICKI: This is just how I hold myself ROYSHANNA: My own particular comportment NICKI: Play it off ROYSHANNA: Nothing's wrong NICKI: Everything's cool (ROYSHANNA missteps.) ROYSHANNA: Whoops! NICKI: There she goes! ROYSHANNA: And she's up! NICKI: And she's up! ROYSHANNA: And she's back! NICKI: And she's up! ROYSHANNA: And she's cool NICKI: And we're cool ROYSHANNA: Nothing to see (ROYSHANNA & NICKI bumper car into other couples.) HARPER: Hey, watch it! NICKI: Think anyone saw that? DAKOTA: That's my foot! ROYSHANNA: Cool as a cucumber JANELLE: There's a person here (DJ hits the AIR HORN.) (Break)