Lyrics

Caffeination activation! Sitting in my cubicle trying to pass the time Click the little envelope but no new mail's online My schedule program tells me all this crap I have to do A post-it note upon my desk says "Nobody called you" I write myself a reminder note to throw that note away I check my voice mail even though I've been sitting here all day It says "You have no messages, no life, no hope, no friends" And You've still got seven hours 'til this freakin' workday ends But I can smell salvation It's brewing down the hall The percolator sings to me And I must heed its call As liquid touches styrofoam I feel the steam's sweet kiss And I know I'm just seconds away From caffeinated bliss Coffee, coffee, coffee to stimulate my brain Coffee, coffee, coffee to make me less insane I used to be a zombie and I'd fall asleep at work Now everybody knows me as the hyperactive jerk Well, now, now that I'm Chock full'o'nuts, my job is just a game! I open up my phone book and I highlight every name! I bend my paper clips into the shapes of little men I search the net for Amish porn, I take apart my pen I open up my three-hole punch and spill holes on the floor I fire staples 'cross the room 'til I don't have no more I laminate my lunch meat, I link my rubber bands Make a xerox of my hairy ass and fax it to Japan And when the buzz starts wearing off And when I'm feeling low I pour myself another mug My cup shall overflow Eleven packs of sugar And a couple spoons of creamer And I shall receive the gift of life From my liquid redeemer Coffee, coffee, coffee, come on and drink it up Coffee, coffee, coffee, nirvana in a cup I used to be a peon, just a worthless wad of gristle 'Til I replaced by brain cells with instant Folger's crystals My boss calls me in his office, he says "Now listen, you... I have a little problem with the crappy work you do I never see you at your desk, so what's been going on? Half the time you're at the coffee pot, the rest you're in the John! Your eyes are always bloodshed, your hands, they always shake Your skin's the tone of dead flesh, at the bottom of a lake We think this has to do with all the coffee that you chug So we're switching you to decaf and cleaning out your mug" These words to me were blasphemy, I found them just appalling So I kicked that bastard somewhere that I knew would tend him crawling Now I'm jobless, homeless on the street, you could say I've got hard luck But I've got a gun, and now I'm gonna go hold up a Starbucks Coffee, coffee, coffee with sugar and with cream Coffee, coffee, coffee, the reason for my being I used to be so tired I'd just pass out on the floor Now I haven't needed a wink of sleep since 1994 I got coffee, coffee, coffee, it's great to have around Coffee, coffee, coffee, I even eat the grounds I used to be a drone, now I'll never be the same! I drink a hundred cups a day, Juan Valdez knows my name Give me coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee (I'll take a [?], I wanna be caffeinated) Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee (I'll take a [?], I wanna be caffeinated) Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee (I'll take a [?], I wanna be caffeinated) Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee… (I'll take a [?], I wanna be caffeinated)