Today You Are a Man

Album cover art for "Today You Are a Man" by Stephen Lynch & Kevin Cahoon & Matthew Saldivar

Stephen Lynch & Kevin Cahoon & Matthew Saldivar - Pop, Musicals

Today You Are a Man

2 Plays

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Lyrics

[ROBBIE] There's a gift from every guest [ROBBIE & BAND] Today you are a man [ROBBIE] The cocktail franks have all been blessed [ROBBIE & BAND] Today you are a man [ROBBIE] Your goyim friends have been agog Since they left the synagogue Drunk on schnapps and in a fog And speaking Hebrew best they can [SAMMY] (attempting Hebrew.) L'chaim! [ROBBIE & BAND] Cause you are a man! [ROBBIE] There's a waitress Dressed up like a go-go [GEORGE] But remember Shiksas are a no-no! [ROBBIE] Go shake hands with Each Tom, Dick, and Herschel [SAMMY] They'll be shvitzing And what's even worse [ROBBIE & BAND] You'll have to kiss your aunts And watch your zayde dance But remember this It could be ten times worse at least it's not your briss Your briss Today you are a [ROBBIE] Boi-boi-boi Boi-boi-boi Boi-boi-boi [GEORGE & SAMMY] Boy? [ROBBIE] No! [ALL THREE] A man! Ole!

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Credits

Writers
  • Matthew Sklar
  • Chad Beguelin