We Were Never Actually Together

Album cover art for "We Were Never Actually Together" by The Key of Awesome

The Key of Awesome - Pop

We Were Never Actually Together

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Lyrics

[Verse 1] I got dumped by Jake Gyllenhaal last year So I bought this hipster voodoo doll with a beard I'm stabbing him right in his Gyllen balls Still, he won't return my calls (Why?) I'm calling just to say that I moved on with my life This will be the last time that I call tonight So you mind if I sleep on your lawn I say, "I love you, we hate him the precious, Smeagol" [Pre-Chorus] Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh One side of me gets the hint, but Pph-pph-pph-pph-pph This side is ogidy, ogidy, ogidy [Chorus] We were never ever ever actually together Sweetie remember member member Smoking crack together We ate chalk And did bath salts And had sex with a tree Um We have never ever done any of that together Like, we sort of did. My stuffed animals totally remember it Yeah, I remember that Me too I swallowed a whole bottle of these pills Flintstones These voices in my head feel like a drill Gollum He's telling me that we have to kill Your mom, but I can't seem to trigger this bomb. Darn [Mom] MMMMMMMMM I can't hear you through the gag Ohhhhhh looks like, I just needed new batteries [Jake] She can never ever ever be put back together [Taylor] Now he will never ever ever give me back my sweater I've moved on and soon I'm gonna be a Kennedy Yippee! Their family curse gets worse and worse with every century They got shot, his plane got lost And this ones dating me If he ever dumped me ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever EVER He will be dismembered My precious

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Credits

Writers
  • Mark Douglas