Telephone

Lyrics

[Spoken Intro: Anastasia Douglas as Lady Gaga, Carolyn Castiglia as Beyoncé] What do you say, B.K.? Are you gonna tell me the concept for this telephone video or what? Well... [Verse 1: Lady Gaga, Beyoncé] First of all this song is not as good as Bad Romance And it's not even close to Poker Face or Just Dance So I will distract them by getting half-naked And throw everything at them but the kitchen sink, sink The kitchen sink, sink What do you think, think? I will prove that I don't have a penis, wink-wink First I'll get stripped naked by some burly prison guards And make out with a shemale in the prison yard yard This video seems goofy, you should just do it alone Besides I'm getting sick of all these songs about phones [Chorus: Lady Gaga] Bail me out of jail then we follow with some bad dialogue We poison everyone including a cute dog Then we start to dance and there's dead people everywhere As usual, I have lots of crazy crap in my hair P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-product placement Hide the de-dead bodies in the ba-ba-basement Blood, and guts, and boobs, and butts And I just wanna make your head explode Beep, beep, beep, bee-bee-beep, beep, beep That was "Lady Gaga" in morse code [Verse 2: Beyonce, Lady Gaga] If you think I'm doing this then you're a crazy bastard Must have blown a gasket, are you tripping on acid? As a child, were you abused by some big crazy bastard? And did he ever make you put the lotion in the basket? I just wanna do a simple shoot with dancin' You used to be a diva, now you're Marilyn Manson You're gonna do my video and do it my way I'd hate for something bad to happen to your family My family-ay? That's right, Beyoncé A piano might accidentally fall on Jay-Z [Chorus: Beyoncé, Lady Gaga] Somebody help me 'cause I don't want to sing anymore She's got a gun to my head on the dance floor Rub-a-dub-dub, three nuns in a tub And they're doing it with the garden gnome Please don't beat me up, but I have to ask What does it have to do with a telephone? [Spoken Outro: Beyoncé] You crazy bitch! Ahh!