Lyrics

[Intro (Spoken), Papyrus] HUMAN... I AM IN UTTER DISBELIEF... I CANNOT BELIEVE THE EVENTS THAT HAVE TRANSPIRED THUS FAR! I MEAN, WHO WOULD HAVE EXPECTED A HUMAN CHILD TO DO SUCH A THING AS BRING THE GREATEST CUT OF MEAT I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! I AM INSPIRED! [Main Song, Papyrus] WELCOME TO ANOTHER EPISODE OF PAPYRUS'S COOKING SHOW IS THE CAMERA ON? GREAT! I'LL SHOW YOU ALL HOW TO COOK A FILET MIGNON! IT IS QUITE A TASTY RECIPE MEAT SO PRIME FOR ME I'M SURE YOU'LL AGREE! LET'S GET COOKING BY THE BOOK! THIS MEGALO STEAK, BACK I TOOK! FROM THE BUTCHER SHOP, A CUT SO FINE FULL OF FAT DIVINE FOR THIS DISH OF MINE FAT IS FLAVOR, EXPERTS SAY! THIS IS THE CUT WE'LL USE TODAY! ONE DELICIOUS DRY-AGED HUNK OF MEAT IT IS SUCH A TREAT FINEST YOU WOULD MEET! YES, I JUST RHYMED TWO HOMOPHONES! LYRIC WRITING'S IN MY BONES! NOW PREPARE A SOUS VIDE BATH THE TEMPERATURE OF THE WATER SHOULD BE BETWEEN 120 AND 140 DEGREES (FAHRENHEIT) I PREFER 133 'CAUSE MEDIUM RARE STEAK IS WHAT WILL WORK THE BEST FOR ME! NOW SEAL THE STEAK AND HERBS PUT THEM IN THE WATER! [Intermission (Talking), Papyrus] NOW WE NEED TO WAIT APPROXIMATELY FOUR HOURS SINCE THIS STEAK IS ABOUT TWO INCHES THICK (Four hours later) [Back to the Main Song, Papyrus] OK, NOW IT'S NICE AND TENDER! WE SHALL SEAR IT AT THE END! HEAT A CAST IRON SKILLET THAT WASN'T PUT IN THE DISHWASHER! POUR SOME OIL AND BUTTER SEAR THE STEAK FOR A MINUTE ON EACH SIDE THEN BASTE THE JUICE IF YOU SO CHOOSE THAT'S HOW YOU COOK A STEAK ACCORDING TO I! THAT'S IT FOR MY COOKING SHOW THAT'S HOW YOU COOK DIS BEEF, YOU KNOW! PERHAPS A SIDE DISH OF ASPARAGUS- [Outro (Talking), Papyrus] [Papyrus' phone begins ringing] WAIT. HANG ON, I'M GETTING A CALL. STOP THE MUSIC, PLEASE! OH, I SHOULD REALLY KEEP TRACK OF WHERE I PUT MY PHONE... AH! THERE IT IS! GREAT PAPYRUS, HOW CAN I HELP YOU? UH-HUH? UH-HUH... OH, IS THIS STILL NOT WHAT THEY WANTED? WHAT ARE THESE KIDS, VEGETARIANS? OH. THE OPPOSITE THEY LIKE WHAT?!?! STILL?! THAT'S AWFUL! THE HUMAN WOULD NEVER DO THAT! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, THAT'S JUST NOT KOSHER! GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR! YEESH... SOME OF THESE PEOPLE REALLY LIKE BLOOD AND VIOLENCE... AH, WELL. I CAN AT LEAST GIVE ONE OF THOSE THINGS WHO WANT'S TO LEARN HOW TO COOK STEAK TARTARE NEXT? IT'S RAW AND FULL OF BLOOD! YOU LIKE BLOOD, DON'T YOU? OH FORGET IT, CUT THE CAMERAS