It Never Would’ve Worked

Lyrics

[HARRY, spoken] Ladies and gentlemen Like most wandering minstrels, I have a few tales to tell Alas, most of them end in shattered dreams And a fractured heart With the help of my three angels I would like to recount some of the dramas of my life [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Ain't it sad [HARRY] Call the hearse [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Just too bad [HARRY] Even worse [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Fate is fate [HARRY] Fate's a curse [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] 'Lucidate [HARRY] I met a girl in Tallahassee [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Talla—who? [HARRY] We had a whirl in Tallahassee [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] So what's new? [HARRY] She was as hot as pompano in a pan I was her man Yeah, but I ran [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Sounds insane [HARRY] It was sad [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Do explain [HARRY] You see, she liked rich I was broke [HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] It never would've worked (What?) [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Never would've worked [HARRY] She drank Mumms I drank Coke [HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] It never would've worked (Never) [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Never would have worked [HARRY] Just plain passion wouldn't satisfy [HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE, HARRY] Never would've worked But it would've been fun to try [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] What a shame [HARRY] It was rough [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] That's the game [HARRY] Love is tough Then came this chick in Tuscaloosa [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Ooh, that's hot [HARRY] We made it quick in Tuscaloosa [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] And why not? [HARRY] She had a body that they shouldn't permit Man, did we fit Yeah, but I split [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Not again [HARRY] I repeat [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Oh, you men [HARRY] She was sweet sixteen Minus one It never would have worked [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Never would have worked [HARRY] And her pa had a gun It never would've worked I decided Better say goodbye [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Goodbye [HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE, HARRY] Never would've worked But it would've been fun to try [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] My poor friend 'Sthat the end? Is there more? [HARRY] There is more [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Ooh [HARRY] I met this cat in Amarillo [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Ooh, meow [HARRY] An acrobat upon the pillow [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Wuh-wuh-wow [HARRY] She was wild as any [HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Cat in the zoo What did I / you do? [HARRY] Man, but I flew [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] So he flew [HARRY] Not my sort [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Why did you? [HARRY] She liked short and tall Male and fe— It never would've worked [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Male and fe—? [HARRY] Half the town Had her key It never would've worked [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Never would have worked [HARRY] Sears and Roebuck Envied her supply [HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Never would've worked But it would've been fun to try, try, try Never would've worked But it would've been fun to— [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Never would have Poor little baby, it never would've worked, aw [HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Never would have [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE, HARRY] Poor little baby, it would've been fun, but (Worked) [HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Never would have worked [SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Uh oh, it never ever would have [HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Worked [HARRY] It never would've worked But it would have been fun to [HARRY, SHIRLEY, BEBE & ELAINE] Try