The Press Song

Lyrics

[DOUG, spoken] Scene four Gutenberg's wine press shop It is very late at night The clock in the wall says, like, 2:00 AM probably Gutenberg is working at his press (as Johan Gutenberg) Agh, I need a break (singing) When I'm at my press I like to leave my body Let my mind roam free Think about my day Somebody died, somebody cried, somebody lied, I ate stew... And yet... there's the pain Of something nigglein' at my head I can't forget... And yet I can't remember what the people of Schlimmer said... [BUD (as Boot Plaque)] I cannot read! (as Daughter) I cannot read! (as Drunk #2) I cannot read! (as Flower Girl) I hate Jews! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] Yes! I hear you now, townspeople! And I understand you! I feel you inside me! And I've got to do something! (singing) Here! I'll take this clock! What can it be?! Can this clock ever teach people to read?! No it cannot! It goes in the trash! Wait! There might be something cool in the trash! It's just an old grape! That's not what I need! Grapes are completely useless! No! Schlimmer must read! But what can I do? All I've got's this grape juice press... (spoken) Wait a minute... (singing) This grape juice... (spoken) ...press! (singing) I'm gonna take this press And make it print some words I'm gonna change a press Although I know it sounds absurd I'm gonna take the grapes out And put letters in Put letters where 'dem grapes have been I'm gonna change this press And make it print some words [BUD (as Black Narrator), spoken] And so, Gutenberg worked long into the night Changing history to a boogie-woogie beat You go on, Johan Gutenberg! Invent that printing press for all of us! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)] It's the first printing press in history It's gonna print up books for you and me It's a printing press It's gonna print some words Yeah! [BUD, spoken] Helvetica enters (as Helvetica) Gutenberg! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] Hello! Look what I invented! [BUD (as Helvetica), spoken] What is it?! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] A printing press! [BUD (as Helvetica), spoken] Oh, it's wonderful! Should we toast?! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] No! [BUD (as Helvetica), spoken] Oof! *Glass breaking sound* My glass! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] Silly girl! We don't make wine anymore! We make words! (singing) Ha! Now that I'm done Get ready to read! This will be going down in history Remember my face Now there's a glimmer in Schlimmer And that glimmer is me! G-U-T-E-N-B-E-R... G!