I’m Calm

Album cover art for "I’m Calm" by Jack Gilford

Jack Gilford - Pop, Broadway

I’m Calm

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Lyrics

[HYSTERIUM, spoken] Calm? Yes, calm Mustn't get excited Calm? Calm? [HYSTERIUM] I'm calm, I'm calm I'm perfectly calm I'm utterly under control I haven't a worry Where others would hurry I stroll I'm calm, I'm cool A gibbering fool Is one thing I never become When thunder is rumbling And others are crumbling I hum Hmm, hmm, hmm Hmm, hmm, hmm I must think calm comforting things Butterfly wings Emerald rings Or a murmuring brook Murmuring, murmuring, murmuring... Look! I'm calm, I'm calm I haven't a qualm I'm utterly under control Let nothing confuse me— Or faze me— Ah, excuse me... I'm calm Oh, so calm Oh, so— [PSEUDOLUS, spoken] Hysterium! [HYSTERIUM] I'm calm, I'm calm I'm perfectly calm Indifferent to tensions and shocks Unruffled and ready My nerves are as steady As rocks I'm calm, controlled So cool that I'm cold Aloofer than any giraffe When something's the matter Where others would shatter I laugh *Laughter* I must breathe deep Ever so deep Think about sheep Going to sleep Stop and count up to ten One, two, three, four, five, six Seven, eight, nine— When You need aplomb And want to be calm 'Cause life is a horrible dream Just count up to ten Very slowly and then— [HYSTERIUM, spoken] One, two, three, four, five, six Seven, eight, nine— [PSEUDOLUS, spoken] Hysterium! [HYSTERIUM] —Scream! *Scream*

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Credits

Writers
  • Stephen Sondheim