Song Meaning
The lyrics paint a picture of someone grappling with a profound sense of incompleteness and a distorted perception of love. The opening lines, "歪な愛を吐いた" (spitting out distorted love), immediately set a tone of emotional turmoil and a struggle to express or understand affection. This feeling is amplified by the desire to know "君の秘密" (your secret), suggesting a longing for connection or understanding that is perhaps unattainable, leading to a heart that "強く軋んでいる" (strongly creaks). The narrator identifies this internal struggle as uniquely their own, stating, "誰でもなく僕だ" (it's me, not anyone else).
This internal conflict seems to stem from a deep-seated feeling of inadequacy, encapsulated by the repeated question, "足りない僕を埋めるものなんて無いな?" (There's nothing to fill my lack, is there?). The lyrics describe a state of being "地を這いずり廻ってる" (crawling on the ground) and searching for a "普通" (normalcy) that remains elusive. There's a sense of being lost, with no clear direction or answers, leading to a profound and indescribable loneliness. The narrator questions the very nature of love, stating, "ねえ愛なんて今更" (Hey, love, at this point) and "理解りたくもないわ" (I don't even want to understand it).
The song's power lies in its raw portrayal of self-acceptance amidst imperfection. The narrator moves from a desire to be filled to a realization that "足りない僕を埋めるものなら要らない" (I don't need anything to fill my lack). Instead, the focus shifts to embracing what remains: "全部引き受けてそれでも残る思いが僕だ" (Taking it all in, the feelings that remain are me). This is a defiant stance, a declaration that the "欠けた心の" (this missing heart's) meaning is found in the struggle itself, in the act of "足掻くしかないんだって" (knowing I can only struggle). The repeated plea, "未完成の僕を笑えよ!" (Laugh at my unfinished self!), becomes a challenge and an assertion of existence, acknowledging their imperfect state.
Ultimately, the lyrics suggest a path toward freedom not by erasing the past or the other person, but by embracing the self, flaws and all. The repeated phrase, "自由の方へ遠くへ向かえ" (Head far away towards freedom), coupled with the belief that "つまりそれだけで" (just by doing that), one can "忘れずにいれる、はずと疑わないの" (surely be able to not forget you, without doubt), indicates a complex relationship between moving forward and holding onto memory. The narrator finds their identity not in being complete or perfect, but in the very act of being "不完全の僕がこれだよ" (This is me, the imperfect one). The song resonates by articulating the difficult but liberating process of accepting one's own inherent lack and finding meaning in that very state.