The Worst Waffle Shack (in the Nation)

Lyrics

[Live Intro] This is a song about, uh, when you're driving It's really late at night and you, uh Well, I guess I'm not allowed to say the name of the establishment anymore But, uh, lets call it the "Waffle Shack", uhm And, uh, it's a great place, for the most part But sometimes they're not as good as others And, uh, this is a song about driving at 6:30 in the morning And, uh, you pull over You accidentally find yourself in the worst Waffle Shack... in the nation And by the way, this is definetely, like, the Hotel California songs If you have a lighter you wanna hold up or- you know Girls, if you wanna show your tits or whatever you need to- I don't know how it works, you know, I'm not- [Verse 1] Driving down the road you're a victim of starvation So you turn into the worst Waffle Shack in the nation You don't need an invitation or a reservation But you better hope that you've got all your vaccinations [Verse 2] 'Cause the waitress has no teeth since she's had her operation And her forearms are all covered with shit and perspiration And she hasn't had a bath since desegregation It's like eating your breakfast in a fucking subway station [Verse 3] The guy on your right picks cabs and inflamation Smokes buds through the hole in his throat for respiration And the truckers in the corner are in deep hibernation And everybody else seems to be on probation [Verse 4] The fry cook seems to need hospitalization And his spatula shows signs of salival contamination But you're hungry so you order from the waffle corporation Before there's any time for reconsideration (Here's where it gets a little gross) (Right here) [Chorus] The waffles, eggs and grids come in combination And you suck 'em all down just like a greedy crustation You're licking up the grease like rabbit dalmatian Now you're scattered, smuttered, chunked and then a painful sensation Starts to come in your gut like a colonization of ants In your pants, it's a molestation Someone's bowling in your colon and you need a fumigation This meal is treating you just like a Farrakhan treats caucasians And now you're hobbling past the jukebox to the toiletry station You find it hasn't been flushed from the previous evacuations And the toilet seat's all covered with ejaculation And you perch on the porcelain with great hesitation (They have food here too, if anybody is interested) [Post-Chorus] You shout screams if you're detoxifi--cation Then you fall to the floor from the foul laminations Now you're lying on the ground that needs sterelization And you know you won't receive any ressucitation [Outro] And then you have a final moment of illumination Waffle Shack's control over population Waffle Shack's control over population You just died in the worst Waffle Shack in the nation