Girlfriend

Lyrics

[Spoken Intro] Oh, thank you This is a brand new song It's a little bit more uptempo The kind you can dance to it a little bit, I guess But don't, 'cause that'll make everybody uncomfortable It's called "I Really, Really Need to Get a Girlfriend" [Verse 1] I gotta get a girlfriend I gotta get a girlfriend (Is it getting catchy yet?) (I'm trying to sell this to, uh, Justin Timberlake or something, but I haven't...) I gotta get new clothes So I can get a girlfriend I gotta start clippin' my toes So I can get a girlfriend Stop pickin' my nose So I can get a girlfriend Stop wearing pantyhose So I can get a girlfriend Girlfriend [Verse 2] I'm even willing to pay Some girl to say that she's my girlfriend 'Cause all my friends think I'm gay 'Cause I never have a girlfriend I'd buy flowers every day For my girlfriend I wouldn't be like O.J And kill my girlfriend Girlfriend [Verse 3] (This is for the musicians out there, watch this) I just changed the key So I can get a girlfriend Start having sex for free With my girlfriend She can even have VD And still be my girlfriend It might hurt when I pee But at least I'd have a girlfriend Girlfriend [Bridge] (And this is kind of the bridge part here, which sort of breaks it off a little) (Fuck you guys) We could sit around and do crazy shit together like I could pull her ears out and say "Hey, look everybody, it's Dumbo!", and she'd be all like "Who the fuck are you and how'd you get into my house?" (Alright) [Verse 4] How low do I have to sink To get me a girlfriend? I could put something in her drink And she could be my girlfriend But then they'd put me in the clink And I'd be someone else's girlfriend Girlfriend Girlfriend [Spoken Outro] Oh, thank you