Duet

Lyrics

[Spoken Intro: Henry Phillips, Julia Lillis] ...singer-songwriter Julia Lillis Is gonna join me Yeah, let's get it up for Julia She's gonna help This a song that we wrote together Are you okay, you're ready? Do you need to do some exercise or some- Is it on? There we go Okay, cool This is a song Okay, that says it all, right? [Verse 1: Henry Phillips] I met a girl at the checkout line While I was buying a cantaloupe And she was beautiful to me She had a smile that could save the world And her eyes just looked right through me She said hеr name was Julia [Verse 2: Julia Lillis] I met this guy at the chеckout line While he was buying a pineapple And right away he stole my heart He was tall and handsome and dreamy He looked a lot like Prince Charming He said his name was Christopher [Verse 3: Henry Phillips, Julia Lillis] Christopher? Who the fuck is Christopher? And why was he buying a pineapple? If you ask me he sounds like some kinda pussy He said he just got back from Iraq With a Purple Heart for saving civilian babies He's a Navy SEAL Not one of these self-involved musician faggots [Verse 4: Henry Phillips, Julia Lillis] Oh, he's a military guy That means he's probably out getting gonorrhea From some weird island whore in Southeast Asia Thank god that now he's back for good Out of the Navy and going to med school To become a pediatrician so he can save more babies [Verse 5: Henry Phillips, Julia Lillis] So wait, you're telling me he's a Navy SEAL and also a fucking doctor That means he's probably marrying some princess chick And he has no interest for some small-town bitch like Julia So glad he just broke up with his girlfriend Jessica Some rich débutante who was too high-maintenance Now he just wants someone down-to-earth [Bridge: Julia Lillis, Henry Phillips] Christopher, Christopher (I think I got to go fucking puke) I am your soulmate (This guy sounds like a dick) Not that dumb model whore Jessica [Verse 6: Henry Phillips, Julia Lillis] So wait, you're saying that Jessica's a model And she's also some like some rich débutante chick And she's single, tell me more about Jessica She's just a superficial bitch Probably never even read a book She just seats around, paints her nails, and waxes her vagina [Verse 7: Henry Phillips, Julia Lillis] So wait, you're saying she has a waxed vagina And she's rich and hot and single And her name is Jessica No one would ever be interested in Jessica She's not even capable of a monogonous relationship She used to bring girls home and fuck them in front of my Christopher [Verse 8: Henry Phillips] So wait, that means she's also a bisexual I think I'm falling in love with Jessica The millionaire, débutante, shaved-vagina whore [Outro: Julia Lillis, Henry Phillips, Both] Christopher (Jessica) I wanna build a life with you (I wanna fuck your shaved vagina) You are my one true love I love you Christopher (Jessica)