Lyrics

I've had my pet Since I was nine years old I loved him and fed him Kept him out of the cold But one day he attacked I knew he didn't love me back So I grabbed him like a football And punted fifty yards Now I hate pets Take yourself to the vet Now I hate pets Dolphins trapped in little nets Now I hate pets You little fucking Screaming shit-bag I should of let your mother Eat you, little fucker So I got a little birdy And I trained it everyday Hе knew 1000 words But then he flеw away But then I got him back The fucker wouldn't shut his trap So I took him Rubbed his beak in shit Now I hate pets Spotted owls in their nests Now I hate pets Bagged a deer and made a vest Now I hate pets Birds and bees and bears and bison Pigs and parrots and pandas I fucking hate them all!!! I was walking through the park When a snake peered from his hole A perfect opportunity To take the bastard home I chopped his fucking head off With my handy garden hoe And made a lovely hat-band For my redneck cousin Bo, heee-haaw! Now I hate pets 10,000 volts to the chest Now I hate pets I fed my cat some cigarettes Now I hate pets You little fucking Screaming shit-bag Commie bastard Fuck you, you Fucking asshole licker dick sucking fuckhead