Ain’t It Strange? (2017 Cut Closing Number)

Lyrics

[BETELGEUSE] I was evil I was cruel I did things that on reflection were not cool I was mean I was sadistic But I saved your life, so ain't that inconsistent? Manipulated And I lied Took advantage of a girl whose momma died Wrecked your career, Chuck Destroyed your home But with one move, I'm the hero of the show! Oh ain't it strange? [ENSEMBLE] Yes, it's strange! Yes, it's strange! [BETELGEUSE] When an asshole saves the day! [ENSEMBLE] When an asshole saves the day! [BETELGEUSE] I gave you all a golden shower And then at the final hour I did something noble! Boy, have I got range! Oh, ain't it wild? I mean, come on, guys I got hitched to a child! I was such a bottom dweller But with just one act of valor I made every gal and fella shout "hooray!" Ain't it strange? [ENSEMBLE] Ohh, ain't it strange? [BETELGEUSE] Goes to show that folks can really change! [ENSEMBLE] Ain't it? Folks can change! [BETELGEUSE] Oh, ain't it strange When an asshole saves the day! Asshole! [ADAM] Woah But you were sleazy [BETELGEUSE] Okay [ADAM] You were rude [BETELGEUSE] Okay [ADAM] You barged in on me one time when I was nude [BETELGEUSE] Yes, I did [ADAM & BARBRA] You're a bully [BETELGEUSE] Woah [CHARLES] You use disgusting words You reduced this house's value by two-thirds But I was selfish [BETELGEUSE] Yes [CHARLES] I was a slight bore [BETELGEUSE] Slight? [ENSEMBLE] I guess you gave use something all to fight for [CHARLES] It doesn't fit with the established narrative [ENSEMBLE] But you're the reason we all get to live! It's a surprise! [BETELGEUSE] Surprise! [ENSEMBLE] When you owe your life to someone you despise! [BETELGEUSE] Someone you despise! [ENSEMBLE] He's a sociopathic cretin He's the worstest guy we've met And yet right at the end I guess that guy was nice! How to react When the [?] got your back [BETELGEUSE] I got your back! I got your back! [ENSEMBLE] He was totally the worst, and then You think you know a person And then curse them, they reverse their evil ways Ain't it strange? [BETELGEUSE] I mean, come on, guys! I'm totally insane! [ENSEMBLE] Oh, yes, it's strange! When an asshole saves the day! Asshole! [BETELGEUSE] This is great! We are sharing, and we are caring And we are learning And that's a good thing! Now, anybody else wanna get something off their chest? Okay then! Charles, you're next! [CHARLES] Okay, okay, I need to say That when my wife passed away I behaved in a way that wasn't quaint And threw myself into real estate I thought that by ignoring pain It would simply go away But I am here to say that I was an asshole [ENSEMBLE] You were an asshole [BETELGEUSE] Great! Okay! Anyone else wanna have their say? [DELIA] I am not a life coach, clearly I signed up 'cuz I was dearly, madly, deeply and completely In love with Charles Deetz [ENSEMBLE, SARCASTICALLY] No [DELIA] I've never been able to find my [?] Jesus, what is wrong with me? I was blind, but now I see that I was an asshole [ENSEMBLE] You were an asshole [ADAM & BRABRA] We would always hesitate, procrastinate We used to wait We were afraid to be pushed away Do we have to say it? [ENSEMBLE] You were assholes [LYDIA] I was angry, shut you out Anyone nice, I closed them down I pushed everyone away I was- [ENSEMBLE] No, you were a teenager [ALL] Oh, ain't it strange? (Ain't it strange? Ain't it strange?) We're all assholes in some way (We're all assholes in some way) You can wonder 'round forever, thinking you're so goddamn clever If you never see the truth, you'll never change (I guess this means) I guess this means that no matter how hard you suck You can be redeemed When a person you revile Comes to save you with a smile It's hard to know just where to file it in your brain Ain't it strange? ([?]) Ain't it strange? ([?]) When an asshole saves the day! When an A-S-S-H-O-L-E Turns out to be a better than you thought they'd be It's strange But in the darkest moments, hope survives 'Cuz an A-grade idiot saved our lives! No matter what they say [BETELGEUSE] An asshole can save the day! [ALL] No matter what they tell ya You can save the day! Right out the final parlor An asshole paved the way! Ain't it the truth He's the living proof Betelgeuse [BETELGEUSE] Yes [ENSEMBLE] Betelgeuse [BETELGEUSE] Yes! Oh, come on Goddamnit, one more time! [ENSEMBLE] Betelgeuse! [BETELGEUSE] YES!