Douche and Turd

Lyrics

[We start at South Park Elementary during a pep-rally] Cheerleaders: We are South Park green and white. Let's go cows, fight fight fight! Nobody can beat a cow, let's go, South Park! Red: Hey, South Park! Do you have school spirit! All: Moo! Bebe: I think us Cows have the best school spirit. Huh, Mandy? Mandy: Yeah! And South Park is REALLY gonna stick it to Littleton next week Bebe: Let's bring out our school mascot and GET THIS PEP RALLY GOING! [Someone in a cow suit comes out and waves at the children, he begins to dance] Butters: It's Mooey! Mooey, wave to me! Wave to me, Mooey! Cartman: Butters, shut the hell up [Mooey is still dancing. Suddenly, a group of PETA members break in and start beating him up and pulling his head off to reveal someone in that suit] PETA Member #1: We are People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. WE PROTEST YOUR INSENSITIVE USE OF COWS AS YOUR SCHOOL MASCOT! Mr. Garrison: Oh, Jesus. Not PETA again... PETA Member #2: Cows are maimed and slaughtered and used as a commodity. [he douses a bucket of red paint onto Bebe. As they do this, we see a video of an old slaughterhouse scene on how to prepare beef.] PETA Member #1: This is the FATE OF THE COWS! This is your insensitivity! Everyone: EWW! Kid: [sobs] PETA Member #3: The cow is a slave, the cow is a commodity. To be thrown away by a society GONE WRONG! [The next day] Mr. Garrison: Alright, children. I've just been informed that since our school has been attacked by eco-terrorists for the 47th time, we ARE going to change our school mascot Everyone: AWW!