FIGJAM

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I woke up this morning, but I didn't wake Till the afternoon because I slept in late With a great mental state and a date with destiny I'll roll down the block without a copper even stressing me Let alone arrestin' me or givin' me a ticket It's comin' into summer, and the weather's fuckin' wicked So I figured I'd be hitting the beach Look at skinny-dippers' titties and get something to eat After half a pound of chips and a flounder burger I was sitting on my arse like a council worker Reminiscin' about being pissed off about My house burnin' down to the ground and being out On my arse before my change of fortune Now I score tunes, don't get up before noon So yo mamma's on the head of my knob And it's better than heading to my dead-end job Because the boss was a cock head when I was a clerk So I clocked him – and now I don't work It's beautiful day, and I can use a cliche, 'cause "I am the greatest!" like Cassius Clay [Chorus 1] I got the world at my feet, and my toe jam's nasty (Figjam!) Fuck, I'm good, just ask me I couldn't give a shit about your corporate hierarchy (Figjam!) Fuck, I'm good, just ask me [Refrain] "I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfuckin' man" "I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfuckin' man" "I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfuckin' man" "I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfuckin' man" [Verse 2] I rock around in track-and-thongs, fucked off a bucket bong If you don't like it, you can come suck a long dick 'Cause I'm brit pop, all the way to hip-hop I get so plastered, you'd think I'm drinking Gyprock But I'm shit-hot, no matter how you look at it And my lyrics make you wanna read the book-a-let' Don't 'cause I'm cooking it like the iron chef! That's why I'm deaf, up to the high clef (Figjam!) The rhymes are fat like Chief Wiggum And in fact, I never lag it's like a magic pack of Tim Tams We're the duck's nuts and you suck and I don't give a damn So good on the cut, they should call me Edward Scissorhands So give a hand for me and my associates (You suck!) Well, that's just inappropriate Smoke me a kipper, bitch, I'm from the Ipa-switch Side of town, don't forget to write it down (West side, eeee!) What the fuck? It ain't gangster rap! Think you're tougher, then you'd probably suffer wanker's cramp And I'll thank you to fuck right off Professional fuckwits, take one night off [Chorus 2] I'm Evil Eddie with a rock-steady microphone mastery (Figjam!) Fuck, I'm good, just ask me As a concept, the intellect can't grasp me (Figjam!) Fuck, I'm good, just ask me [Refrain] "I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfuckin' man" "I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfuckin' man" "I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfuckin' man" "I can't believe how dope I am, I'm the motherfuckin' man" [Chorus 3] I got the strong profile, without the help of rhinoplasty (Figjam!) Fuck, I'm good, just ask me Kicking arse in the charts, but you can't class me (Figjam!) Fuck, I'm good, just ask me I just had a threesome with ya mamma and your auntie (Figjam!) Fuck, I'm good, just ask me And they're coming back this arv' for the bukkake party [Bridge] (Figjam!) My dick is bigger than a wigwam! And you can see my pee-pee three feet above the TV And if you are getting very sleepy Wake up! (These cunts need a shake up) [Verse 3] I'm a jet-set, go-getter, but I got a vendetta Just got a death threat over the phone Better go lay low, under ground, like a bilby (Figjam!) Chill man, people wanna kill me! But I don't let that bullshit sweat me I'm at ya mamma's if you wanna come and get me You shady fuck, I may be stuck In a crazy situation but I'm favoured by lady luck You wanna stop me? You'd wanna do it properly? Ah, fuck! Somebody shot me!