Everytime

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Every time I clean my room, I make another mess Every time I miss the bus, I'm late for a test Every time I'm reincarnated, it's in the lowest form I leave my window open every time there is a storm Every time I have a hangover, I have to go to work Every time I masturbate dry, it tends to hurt Every time I pat a dog, it bites me on the hand Every time I talk to aliens, they don't understand Every time I skate, I get another bruise Every time I get drunk, I vomit on my shoes Every time I scratch, the needle jumps Every time I drink milk, it comes out in lumps Every time I freestyle, I just talk shit Every time I catch the bus, there is no where to sit Every time I catch a train, I'm hassled for ticket Every time I bat in cricket, first ball takes a wicket Every time I'm drunk at a party in a toga I pull a damn hamstring to prove I do yoga Every time I eat, I get a pain in my chest Every time I thinks it's heartburn, it's cardiac arrest Every time I make a call, call waiting interrupts Every time I dump a load at someone's house, it won't flush Every time it won't flush, it stains the ceramic If you ever see me happy, it's because I'm manic [Verse 2] Every time I give advice, it comes out wrong Every time I get raided, my prints are on the bong Every time I score, I get shitty leaf I was living with a Navajo until they heard me diss the chief Every time we smoke a joint, I end up with the roach Every time we skip sport, I get drilled by the coach But every time I play footy, I get tackled in the dirt And I crack another rib and it really fuckin' hurts Every time I brush my teeth, I find another cavity Every time I try to fly, I discover gravity Every time I have a craving, I run out of food Every time we spin the bottle, I'm the one who ends up nude Every time I give a girl an orgasm, she fakes Every time I jam it in, the condom breaks Every time I gamble, I lose all my chips And every time I eat All Bran I get the shits But every time I shit, it takes about an hour And there's never any paper so I have to have a shower But every time I shower, the towel's already wet And it's not wet with water but wet with cum and sweat Every time I pluck my pubic hairs to make myself attractive My dick gets sore and I fuck like a spastic Every time I write a song, radio stations ban it 'Cause when you play my records in reverse, they're satanic [Interlude] Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan Worship Satan [Verse 3] Every time I make a joke, people take me serious Every time I go down on a girl, she's on her period Every time I drive a car, a cop will pull me over But I'll say I'm someone else...and that I'm sober Every blind date turns out to be blind My looks are all I have and that is why I mind Every time I have the dream where I'm at the school dance Everyone is lookin' at me 'cause I don't have any pants When we play piggy in the middle, I'm the pig Every time we play tiggy, I'm the one who's it Every time I lick toad, I get warts on my tongue Every time I see a killer bee, It's me that's getting stung Every time I play scrabble, I make the word 'at' Every wet fart leaves a stain where I sat Every time I fuck your mum, she wants it in the bum And every time I'm done, it's not because I've come Every time I crack onto a chick, I pull my sack out Every time I try to suck my dick, I put my back out Every time I catch a wave, I hit a coral reef And every time I order vegetarian, I get beef [Outro] I get beef Chicken's not a vegetable I get beef Chicken's not a vegetable