Words, Words, Words

Lyrics

[DOUG, spoken] Act II, Scene 1 An old timey bar called The Rusty German The roof is made of dirty thatch The floor is covered in peanut shells [BUD, spoken] Gutenberg sits at the bar He is drunk! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)] I am drunk I have been drinking wine and mead And now my face is numb! Hey, Drunk! [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Gah! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)] I can't learn 'til you wait to read [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Do what? [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)] You're so cute and so dumb [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Bah! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)] And you smell like a piece of horse [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Hey, Gutenberg's drunk! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] I am drunk! For the last time! [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Oh no! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] That's right, drunk! After tonight, old Gutenberg's not drinkin' wine anymore! I'm drinkin' words! [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Ya can't drink words! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] Not so fast therе, drunk! (singing) Words... Can take on any form or shape [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Bah ha! You've gonе insane! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] No! (singing) Words... Are like wine from a better grape [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Huh? [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] The grape of your brain! [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Oh! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)] Words taste so sweet [BUD (as Drunk #2)] With ice, they're just neat! [BOTH (as Johan Gutenberg and Drunk #2)] Nothing can compete [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)] I'm gonna get drunk off of words I'm gonna come home late I'm gonna stink of words [BOTH (as Johan Gutenberg and Drunk #2)] Wine is awfully fine But really, wine is just a word Words, words, words [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] I'm gonna go get a drink! [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] See ya! [DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken] Hey, what's happenin'? [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Aye, Gutenberg is talkin' about gettin' drunk... Off of words! [DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken] That sounds stupid! [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] It's not! Words make ya feel all tingly inside! [DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken] But that's what alcohol does! [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] Yes, but words do it without that cripplin' chemical addiction! [DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken] That's the part I don't like! [BUD (as Drunk #2)] Well then pull up a seat [DOUG (as Drunk #1)] This is a treat [BOTH (as Drunk #1 and Drunk #2)] Guess we should repeat We're gonna get drunk off of words [BUD (as Drunk #2), spoken] I'm gonna start a fight! [DOUG (as Drunk #1), spoken] I'm gonna vomit words! [BOTH (as Drunk #1 and Drunk #2)] Wine is awfully fine But really, wine is just a word Words, words, words [BUD, spoken] Helvetica enters (as Helvetica) Gutenberg [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] What? [BUD (as Helvetica)] I've got to say... [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] Hey! [BUD (as Helvetica)] Can I get a second chance? [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] I dunno what you're talkin' about [BUD (as Helvetica)] I've done something really awful! [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg)] Come on Helvetica Let's dance! [BUD, spoken] Gutenberg holds Helvetica close (as Helvetica) Hello I... I don't understand [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] Wine can make you do... crazy things You're fired! [BUD (as Helvetica), spoken] What? [DOUG (as Johan Gutenberg), spoken] I'm firing you as my grape stomper But I wanna hire you... as my wife! [BUD (as Helvetica), spoken] Oh Gutenberg, I... I can't! I've done something awful! [DOUG, spoken] Helvetica leaves the bar in a tizzy (as Johan Gutenberg) Where are you going? Where are you going?! [BUD, spoken] Dance break! [DOUG, spoken] The entire cast rushes onstage And Gutenberg is sucked into the madness [BUD, spoken] Some do wild leaps in the air! [DOUG, spoken] Some do flips! [BUD, spoken] Some do somersaults! [DOUG, spoken] Some do handstands! [BUD, spoken] Some chicken fight in the corner! [DOUG, spoken] While the old black narrator soars above it all! The entire cast joins hands To form a chorus line! [BOTH (as All)] We're gonna get drunk off of words Someone else should drive Because we're drunk off words Wine is awfully fine But really, wine is just a word Words! Words! Words!