“Welcome to Gutenberg!”

Lyrics

[DOUG SIMON, spoken] Okay, Here we go! [BUD DAVENPORT, spoken] Oh my God, I'm so excited... [DOUG, spoken] Welcome to Gutenberg! [BUD, spoken] Gutenberg: The Musical! [DOUG, spoken] My name is Mr. Doug Simon, and I am from Nutley, New Jersey [BUD, spoken] And I am Mr. Bud Davenport, also hailing from Nutley, New Jersey [DOUG, spoken] And we have written... a musical! [BUD laughs] [DOUG, spoken] This... is what people like me and Bud call... a cast recording [BUD, spoken] Yes! [DOUG, spoken] Except... we don't have a cast [BUD, spoken] No! It's just me and Doug [DOUG, spoken] We're gonna perform all the roles, sing all the songs, and give you somе help to understand the potеntial of what we have written [BUD, spoken] I think the key word here is "potential" [DOUG, spoken] I also like the word "help," because, with any luck, we are going to take this show... to Broadway! [BUD, spoken] Our nation's capital! [DOUG, spoken] Yes! [BUD, spoken] Listening to this recording, as we speak, are some very big Broadway producers [DOUG, spoken] If you're hearing my voice and you are not a Broadway producer, we need you to find one and make them listen! [BUD, spoken] Tell them to listen and produce our show! [DOUG, spoken] Yes! [BUD, spoken] Please! [DOUG, spoken] Now, you're probably sitting there, thinking to yourself, "Okay, so you wrote a show--but what is it about?" [BUD, spoken] I don't know, Doug, why don't you tell us? [DOUG, spoken] Alright, I will! It's about Johannes Gutenberg [BUD, spoken] Who's he? [DOUG, spoken] He is the guy who invented the printing press... [BUD, spoken] ... and then printed up a bunch of copies of The Bible [DOUG, spoken] Yes, but what else did he do? [BUD, spoken] Well we did some research to find out [DOUG, spoken] Google! We typed in, "Johannes Gutenberg," and printed out the first thing that came up, so... read it, Bud! [BUD, spoken] Okay... um, "Gutenberg, comma Johannes...German printer...born around the year 1400, detailed records of his life and work are scant." [DOUG, spoken] Scant? Clearly, research wasn't gonna help us [BUD, spoken] So we took a different approach--historical fiction! [DOUG, spoken] Yes, but what is historical fiction? [BUD, spoken] It's fiction... that's true! [DOUG, spoken] Now, just before we get started, we want to take a second to talk to you about something pretty serious. Every important musical has to tackle at least one incredibly serious issue [BUD, spoken] Like racism... [DOUG, spoken] Homophobia... [BUD, spoken] Or a man with half a face [DOUG, spoken] Our show is set in Germany, so our serious issue is... Nazis [BUD, spoken] History, and every Indiana Jones film except for "Crystal Skull", tells us that Nazis are... not cool [DOUG, spoken] No, they are hateful and they are ignorant, and that ignorance is in this show [BUD, whispering] It has to be [DOUG, spoken] Because it makes our show... important [BUD & DOUG, spoken] Gutenberg: The Musical!