“That was the love ballad!”

Lyrics

[DOUG, spoken] That was the love ballad! [BUD, spoken] But Doug, what is a love ballad? [DOUG, spoken] Well, people like me and Bud call a song like that the "I want" song Because Helvetica wants Gutenberg [BUD, spoken] But the real question is: Does Gutenberg know that? [DOUG, spoken] I don't think so [BUD, spoken] How could he not? [DOUG, spoken] But now it's time to meet the bad guys The town Monk and his henchman, Young Monk! [BUD, spoken] Ooh! Watch out! Rrreow! [DOUG, spoken] Scene three, the church on the hill The roof is made of dirty thatch In the corner, there is a large Bible And on this wall, there's a vеlvet painting of Jesus crying Monk, an evil man, who hatеs God [BUD, as MONK, spoken] Dbhalahanha! [DOUG, spoken] Is sitting at his desk, sharpening a pencil He is very good at it [BUD, spoken] His henchman, Young Monk, enters [DOUG, as YOUNG MONK, spoken] Monk, look! I found a cat in the alley [BUD, as MONK, spoken] Give him to me Ooh, pretty kitty! I shall name you: Satan [DOUG, as YOUNG MONK, opens the bible in the corner.] [BUD, as MONK, spoken] Young Monk What are you doin' over there by that Bible? [DOUG, as YOUNG MONK, spoken] Oh, I'm just teaching myself how to read In the bidgending— [BUD, as MONK, spoken] Get him, Satan! [BUD imitates SATAN, meowing.] [DOUG, as YOUNG MONK, spoken] Ahh! Ah, ah, ah, ah! [BUD, as MONK, spoken] See what happens when you try to learn how to read? Now, let's try this again: Young Monk What are you doin' over there by that Bible? [DOUG, as YOUNG MONK, spoken] Nothing! [DOUG, as YOUNG MONK, closes the Bible.] [BUD, as MONK, spoken] That's right As long as I'm the Monk No one in this town is gonna learn to read That way the Bible says whatever I says it says! Unless, of course, someone were to make a machine [SATAN meows loudly.] [BUD, as MONK, spoken] That prints books And then printed up immense copies of the Bible And then distributed them to the masses! [DOUG, as YOUNG MONK, spoken] You're hurting Satan! [BUD, as MONK, spoken] Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no I don't wanna hurt Satan No, I love Satan Yes, I do I love Satan I love Satan!