Woman of the Year

Lyrics

[CHAIRPERSON, spoken] Ladies and gentlemen, we now come to the moment we've all been waiting for: the presentation of this year's award to... Tess Harding! [TESS HARDING] Sam Craig, wherever you are Listen, you son of a bitch Listen to that [CHAIRPERSON] This gracious, well-known public figure we've admired for so long [TESS] Sam Craig, wherever you are You arrogant, ill-tempered, brutish, insensitive, chauvinist son of a bitch! Listen to that [CHAIRPERSON] Famous as she was in the many fields of her endeavors [TESS] It's my night, Sammy All minе, Sammy And you can't give it Your well known whammy [CHAIRPERSON, spoken] The nominating committee consisting of Miss Maud Vickеrs, Miss Vi Langford, and Miss Kate Johnson, were unanimous in their choice of this year's celebrated winner! [TESS] The ladies are singing my praises Led by the chairman pro tem I'm not gonna listen to you, Sam Why should I listen to you, Sam? When I can listen to them? (spoken) Speak up, speak up, girls! Don't be shy, speak up! (sung) What a charge case in the atmosphere Fifty bucks a plate for the Woman of the Year Look alive Maude, keep the dais clear While they all applaud for the Woman of the Year She's charming, she's attractive, she's gifted And younger than ya thought she was, too She's never had a single thing lifted She's a cunning little devil and tonight you give the devil a do! Don't be shy, vie, when she does appear Give a big geschrei, let her know you're here! Let your foot step Roar the new chant Who's the Woman of the Year? She's quizzed Nixon—strange man, Nixon She's met Brezhnev—tough nut, Brezhnev She's slept at Buckingham Palace Saw the Scala walkout by Callas Took tea with Gertrude and Alice And if you knew Nehru, like she knew Nehru Oh, oh, what a girl! She's a hip cat, she's a pioneer She's the pussy cat that we're here to cheer She's a big cheese Will you rise please? As we honor her career in contemporary life As a writer and a fighter and a leader and a wife And Sam Craig Wherever you are Though you think I'm a sham Take your pow and shazam And go step it and scram 'Cause goddammit, I am The Woman of the Year! Listen to that!