Lyrics

(Next up on Veggie Shopping Network: "Pants"!) [Verse 1] Welcome, viewers, what comes next? A pair of pants with stripes or checks Dig in your wallet, dump out your purse Who'll be the one to buy the first.... Pair? [Chorus 1] You can wear 'em if you're big, you can wear 'em if you're small They're pants if you're short and shorts if you're tall You can wear 'em in the spring, you can wear 'em in the fall They're pants if you're short and shorts if you're tall So good, so far Down to 20 Look what you get with a little bit of money Down to your feet and up to your tummy! Pants! (Pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants) [Verse 2] If you buy right now tonight We'll throw in a set of ginsu knives A pair of pants could change your life One easy payment: $9.95 [Chorus 2] See the tag on the back when your size gets small They're pants if you're short and shorts if you're tall You can wear 'em to the farm, you can wear 'em to the hall They're pants if you're short and shorts if you're tall 16 more, we're down to four! You can't buy these in any store They're just like your granddaddy wore Pants! (Pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants) Oh, pants! (Pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants) [Verse 3] Pants have six legs less than a squid It's a verb for a dog and a noun for a kid With a pair of pants, you're not alone You can dance with your pants 'til the cows come home These pairs of pants will win your heart We accept most credit cards From stretchy waists to elastic bands Makes easier buffet-eating pants Tills, slacks, corduroys Pants bestow a special joy As seen on the screen of your TV These pants can hide unsightly knees These pants are made of high-grade vinyl Don't hesitate; all sales are final To summarise, you might recall [Chorus 3] They're pants if you're short and shorts if you're tall! (Pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants, pants) Four, three, two, one Going, going, going, gone! We're out of pants; we've gotta run! Pants! (You've got some skinny legs!) Pants!