Out the Way We Came In

Lyrics

[Intro] Ladies and gentlemen, all rise please. The Honorable Roy Sludge presiding.  (Gavel pounding) Be seated. What's first on my docket today? [Verse 1: Vance Gilbert] A good look at you in that Blue satin dress is long overdue Oh, and please wear the earrings I bought you in Kalamazoo If you piled up your hair Like a princess I wouldn't complain I love how the ringlets fall down Like lovely brown rain [Verse 2: Vance Gilbert] I lost weight for this tux Still a little bit tight in the thigh And there's not enough hair left To comb or drape over onе eye And I don't recall this cummеrbund Cuttin' me in half Then you stab me while pinning on my carnation And we both had to laugh [Pre-Chorus: Roy Sludge] Well I need a good reason For you calling it quits And why you're both dressed like you're Puttin' on the Ritz And you tell me you never did nothin' The way other folks do Not you two [Chorus: Vance Gilbert, Roy Sludge, and Both] We're going out the way we came in We're going out the way we came in No need for no one to act like a jerk You did twenty-six years and it just didn't work We got hitched at this courthouse So there's no better place for it to end We're going out, we're going out The way we came in [Verse 3: Roy Sludge] If her daddy was here Like the morning he gave her away You could give her right back None the worse For her wear since that day And your mothers and fathers would crow That you just didn't try Like they did all sittin' and waitin' For the other to die [Chorus: Vance Gilbert, Roy Sludge, and Both] We're going out the way we came in We're going out the way we came in No need for lawyers to beat a dead horse You had a good run but it just ran its course We got hitched at this courthouse So there's no better place for it to end We're going out, we're going out The way we came in [Pre-Chorus: Vance Gilbert, Roy Sludge, and Both] Now the bailiff is cryin' He's wiping his face Stenographer's typing And she's losing her place There was champagne and sandwiches That we snuck in the back 'Cause my wife's second cousin Caters at the race track And we talked the court officer Into throwing back the bouquet There was poundcake and sherbet Then we went on our way I caught the Judge grinnin' He was lookin' at you Well I guess I'm a big fan Of blue satin too No, we never did nothin' The way that other folks do Oh, not me and you Oh not you two [Chorus: Vance Gilbert, Roy Sludge, and Both] We're going out the way we came in We're going out the way we came in So keep your condolences And the long sad face You're looking for a funeral? You're in the wrong place We got hitched at this courthouse So there's no better place for it to end We're going out, we're going out The way we came in