Santa’s a Fat Bitch

Lyrics

[Intro] Sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling, too Horses, horses, horses, horses Sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling *Gunshot* [Verse 1: Violent J] Santa Claus, suck my balls Drunk as hell ringing bells at the malls Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, and Cupid I'm a get stupid, ha ha ha, eh I sat around all night under the chimney Holdin' my sack like "Gimme gimme" I know that he's comin', he's comin' he must Lookin' up nuthin but rust, dust Turn on my TV the very next day I see you're gettin' payed, leadin' the parade I'm that sniper on the buildin' Listen to my nine go click, Santa's a fat bitch [Chorus] Santa Claus is a fat bitch (Santa Claus the fat bastard) Another year and I ain't get shit (Another year I ain't get shit) If I hear him land on my roof (Ooh my undertaker) I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth [Verse 2: Shaggy 2 Dope] Yeah I got somthin' to say about St. Nick Fuck that ho, he never brought Shaggs shit No toys, candy canes, just a lump of coal So I eat it, 'cause there ain't nuttin in the cupboards So I'll be quick, quick and brief Alls I need for Christmas is my two front teeth I got mine kicked, kicked out my mouth I need a few new ones, could you help me out? Should've known I'd get the short end of the stick No kind of gift, I didn't get shit Some say I was bad, but that wasn't it It's all because Santa was a fat bitch [Chorus] Santa Claus is a fat bitch (Santa, fuck you and the north pole too) Another year and I ain't got shit (Another year I ain't get shit) If I hear him land on my roof (Bi-i-itch, you're gonna die) I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth [Interlude] "Oh-ho-ho don't go that way Rudolph! That's the ghetto! Ho-ho, those boys and girls, they don't deserve anything." [Verse 3: Violent J] Santa Claus, Santa Claus where you been? I see you got cookies and milk on your chin I guess you had time to collect your ends You always been down for your rich friends But Rudolph, he don't bring his sleigh my way Nothing but coal and dirt for little J I guess you couldn't fit down my chimney shaft You need to lose some of that fat ass, uh All the little rich boys, they gettin' paid Counting the toys and ducats they made Me? I got a little half little chunk of dog shit I'm a kill that fat bitch [Chorus] Santa Claus is a fat bitch (He ate too much McDonald's) Another year and I ain't get shit (Mrs. Claus [?]) If I hear him land on my roof (Fat fat bitch in the big red coat) I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth [Verse 4: Shaggy 2 Dope] T'was the night before Christmas, and everything's wack Not a creature stirring but a fucking rat I ain't hearin' jingle bells, I ain't hearin' nothin' Ain't smelling no turkey, sure as hell ain't no stuffing All night I prayed, wished and prayed That fat motherfucker would swing my way And drop off soldiers and rubber balls But I woke up and found some crusty old drawers Yep, yep I knew it! The shaft again And again, and again, and again Every year I wake up to the same old shit House empty, no sign of the fat bitch! [Chorus] Santa Claus is a fat bitch (Santa Claus is a fat bitch) Another year and I ain't get shit (Another year I ain't get shit) If I hear him land on my roof (If I hear him land on my roof) I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth Santa Claus is a fat bitch (Santa Claus is a fat bitch) Another year and I ain't get shit (I ain't ge-et shi-it) If I hear him land on my roof (Ro-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoof) I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth [Sample: Buck Owens] He's got a fuzzy white beard and a great big smile A bright red hat you can see for a mile A bag full of goodies and a great big grin Here comes Santa Claus again