To Catch a Predator

Lyrics

[Intro] *Laughter* [Verse 1: Violent J] I'm on the internet, posing as a little girl I'm tryin' to lure evil into my world I tell them that I'm curious, and I'm only twelve Mom and Dad are gone for the day; I'm by myself Buckets of throw up are next to my computer Hopin' that they show up, 'cause what I'm about to do to them Would make the Devil sick: I sharpen my blade Frontin' to this perv like I'm only in the seventh grade The doorbell rings, I gotta get them inside In my best little girl's voice, I'm like, "Hi Come on in, I'm putting on my bikini" And when the door shuts, that's when I let them see me "Hi there" (Haha), I stab him in the neck first 'Cause it hurts, hit him where the blood squirts Carve his whole face off and make him eat it Chain him up by the foot in my basement, bleeding [Chorus] I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (To catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator) And it sure is fun (To catch a predator) I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (To catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator) [Verse 2: Violent J] Soon enough, Feds will be shutting down my service 'Cause people out there think they don't deserve this Until it's your kid an old man's finger fucking Titty sucking, then you'll want the knife stuck in I don't blame you, that's why I catch them in advance While his dick is still in his pants, they never get the chance I tell them I'm alone and I'm only thirteen Looking for a good time, ya know what I mean? "Bring me some Funyuns, and a Slurpee Promise not to hurt me, or give me herpes" And within twenty minutes, here comes a fucking doctor Knocking on my door, a pedophile butt knocker "Come in, have a seat," and then I stroll in With the all-purpose hunting blade straight up his colon (Ah!) I cut his hands off, he ain't touching nobody Chain him up by the foot in the basement, bloody "Ple-ple-please Mr. Clown, sir, you don't have to do this" "Zip it" "Please, I got money, we ca—" "Shut it, fucker" "Please, we can work this out" "Silence, I say" Stick him next to this other fool; both left for dead Every time I walk by 'em, I punch them in the head Cut they fucking dicks off, stick 'em in each other's mouths "Now what y'all talkin' about?" [Chorus] I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (To catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator) And it sure is fun (To catch a predator) I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (To catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator) [Bridge] "What's in the bag?" "Funyuns and condoms" "What's in the bag?" "Funyuns and condoms" "What's in the bag?" "Funyuns and condoms" "Why did you bring condoms?" "I didn't mean to" [Verse 3: Violent J] The house is getting funky, bodies in the basement, stinking What the fuck am I thinking? I put my face paint on, go downstairs And beat they ass sometimes, 'cause it ease my mind Some of them are dead, some are still living But I'ma hurt them every chance that I'm given I hit 'em with the nail gun or the stun gun They can't run, so they both mad fun I was sawing a head off when I heard the doorbell I'm not expecting any predators, but oh well I took my spot, "Come in, I'll be right there" But I left a head sitting on the living room chair He seen it and ran, I had to give chase We cut across the lawn with my knife, swinging for his face I threw it, it stuck him in the back of the neck Still in my drawers, I dragged him home a bloody wreck "Ah, somebody, anybo—" "Zip it" "Stop, please" "Shut it the fuck up" "Ah!" "People are looking, silence" A bus full of high school kids watched it happen He kept screaming like a pansy, despite my slappin' Plus, the neighbors seen it, and so did the mailman But they all never said nothing 'bout it again [Chorus] I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (To catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator) And it sure is fun (To catch a predator) I'm probably gonna burn for this Ain't no lesson to learn from this There's nothing I'ma earn But it sure is fun (To catch a predator) I said it sure is fun (To catch a predator) [Outro] "Yo, Liz" "Meanwhile, back at the house" "Hey, come on in, what kind of alcohol did you bring?" "I brought Absolute Citron, I brought Mandarin Orange, I brought a shot of Jägermeister" "Wow" "In several cases, the men were asked to bring food, alcohol, and condoms, law enforcement says this helps show an intent to solicit a minor; what do we got here?" "A bag of Funyuns" "Funyuns? What about condoms? Did you bring condoms?" "I did" "You did?"