No Fuss

Lyrics

[Winston] Ah, who's the mouse the cats are clawing at today? [Aggie] I've got some wonderful news—tie your shoe before you trip and break your neck! [Winston] What's your news? [Aggie] Janey and Ralph are getting married! [Winston] Really? [Aggie] What kind of reaction is that? The first good news in I don't know how long, and Tom says, That's nice, and you say, Really?! [Winston] No, it's wonderful news. Really! Just took me by surprise, is all. Is the girl here? [Aggie] She's at work [Winston] Well, we'll give them such a party, there'll be drunken cousins throwing up catered dinners from here to the Grand Concorse! [Aggie] But see, it's not that simple. They've got to get married Thursday morning- [Winston] Hey—how about that place that John rented for his Caroline's wedding? He's always bragging on about how much he spent on that—we'll take that room, *plus* the room next door, just for the champagne toast! That'll shut him up for once! And I'm paying for the hall, no arguments! You just leave it all to me [Aggie] It's not gonna be like that. They're just having a small civil ceremony in the morning, and then they're off on their honeymoon [Winston] Now why would they get married like that? [Aggie] Because it's what they want And there are other complications There's a friend who's getting married With a baby and a car and a U-haul full of furniture and West Coast relations City Hall and a clerk Only three weeks off from work So there's time limitations [Winston] Stop addressing Congress! What are you trying to say? [Aggie] Here's the thing, Winston—did you tie your shoe? They don't want any fuss Janey made that clear Just immediate family, plus Her friend, Alice Whose wedding she was in last year They want to keep it small You know how it goes You invite one Uncle And you have to ask them all Then the cousins and the friends and the neighbors and their dates And the list grows and grows [Winston] (pause) I'm not invited? [Aggie] You're not listening to me! They have to leave by Thursday afternoon Or there won't be time for them to have their honeymoon So they have to do it quick And- [Winston] -and I'm not to be considered immediate family