Adelaide’s Lament

Lyrics

[NATHAN, spoken] Look, Adelaide, you're getting yourself upset You and I are gonna be alright! After all, we love each other, and we're gonna get married! [ADELAIDE, spoken] I don't believe you anymore! [NATHAN, spoken] But it's true! Aw, you'll feel better tomorrow Come on, cheer up, honey Let's see that old smile [ADELAIDE, spoken] Achoo! [NATHAN, spoken] That's my girl, see you tomorrow [ADELAIDE, spoken] It says here [ADELAIDE] "The average unmarried female Basically insecure Due to some long frustration, may react With psychosomatic symptoms Difficult to endurе Affecting the upper rеspiratory tract" In other words, just from waiting around For that plain little band of gold A person can develop a cold You can spray her wherever you figure The streptococci lurk You can give her a shot for whatever's she's got But it just won't work If she's tired of getting the fish-eye From the hotel clerk A person can develop a cold [ADELAIDE, spoken] It says here [ADELAIDE] "The female remaining single Just in the legal sense Shows a neurotic tendency See note" [ADELAIDE, spoken] Tendency, see note? Oh, see note Oh, oh, here we go [ADELAIDE] "Chronic organic syndromes Toxic or hypertense Involving the eye, the ear, the nose and throat" In other words, just from worrying whether The wedding is on or off A person can develop a cough You can feed her all day with the vitamin A And the Bromo-Fizz But the medicine never gets anywhere near Where the trouble is If she's getting a kind of a name for herself And the name ain't his A person can develop a cough And furthermore Just from stalling and stalling And stalling the wedding trip A person can develop la grippe When they get on the train for Niagara And she can hear church bells chime The compartment is air conditioned And the mood sublime Then they get off at Saratoga For the fourteenth time A person can develop la grippe La grippe La postnasal drip With the wheezes and the sneezes And a sinus that's really a pip! From a lack of community property And a feeling she's getting too old A person can develop a bad, bad cold {ADELAIDE, spoken] Achoo! Oh