Men!

Lyrics

[CALAMITY, spoken] Men!... [CALAMITY] Men! Men! Horrible men! I've said it before, and I'll say it again What I think of men you can't print in a book Lucky the girl who has never been took! Men! Men! Give 'em a chance They'll string you along with a song and a dance They'll slip you the wink with the pink lemonade But leave you as soon as The moon starts to fade! Oh, I do not choose to tarry In a bonnet of burberry blue And I don't propose to marry You can call off the minister I'II be a spinister! Men! Men! Mischievous men! Be on your guard whеn you stroll in the glen They'll ply you with trinkеts and promise you pearls Regarding their promises Do just as Momma says Be Doubting Thomases, girls Men! Men! Horrible word! Show me the dove, and I'll give it the bird Just let a tenderfoot mention "l'amour" Quick, like a flash I will give him the cure! Males! Males! Rip-roarin' males! Frisky from whisky, and fillin' up jails A five-dollar wager will get you a ten No Deadwood coyote will hog-tie this hen! Men are made to breed confusion Love is wois'n a poisonous bite So I've come to this conclusion I don't want any part of 'em Oh, the black heart of 'em! Down! Down! Down with 'em all! The cow-punchin' type, or the tenderfoot tall Mule-headed men who are mentally ten Pluggable, pinchable Huggable, clinchable Lovable, lynchable men! Men have got a sort of nose fer Any chicken who's kickin' around And I reckon, ma'am, that goes for Ev'ry masculine resident Up to the President! Hi-ho! Song and a Dance Trouble comes double in buckskin and pants When Adam begat All the troubles began So now that we've finally hollered our heads off And dished all the dirt that we can For Pete's sake Send us a man!