Lyrics

*Unbelievable!* *Inconceivable!* *Grammar like a hammer, information receivable!* *Prince of rap rhymin', who else could it be? But,* *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* *If you are offended by loud and obnoxious egomaniacal ranting and raving, then, tough noogies.* Verse 1: I've dominated the dementia charts I've redefined the parody and filking arts I'm the pro at thеse cons and, I'm from Wisconsin And all the fangirls want my Howard Johnson Hip hop nerd bеfore it even existed Put comedy in sci-fi and then I twisted Now step to me and lyricly I'll beat your ass in Like my name was "Scud: The Disposable Assassin!" Ten years, I've grown to reign As the fanboy comic who can entertain From thousands I got a standing ovation Proving that I'm the pimp of the geek nation! I got a big head? (Well yeah, you're right,) Just ask any fangirl that goes home with me tonight! She'll check out my shtick, and find out quick I got *2,000 miles of diiiiiick!* I'm on an ego trip, so come along for the ride And you will find out that it's all completely justified Or you could run and hide, that'd be okay with me Long as you know what put 'the great' inside 'the great Luke Ski!' *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* *Musical comedy! The most glorious words in the English language!* Verse 2: You won't believe all that I gotta go through Just so I can get here and do a show for you Schmoozing the con staff to book the invite The next step's plugging it on my website You'll get so many e-mails it'll make ya wretch I'm slingin' more Spam than a Monty Python sketch Pack every prop and costume I'm able CDs and signage for the merch table Then I cruise as I hop behind the wheel Of my '97 Dodge Neon Luke-Ski-Mobile! Two hundred K miles, and I'm addin' more Get to the convention, kick down the door Check in, get my badge, next part of the scheme Is for me to transform into a one man street team! Put up fliers everywhere the eye can see So everybody knows where my concert will be If I don't promote myself, who the Hell will? You? I don't think so. I got no time to chill Sit on panels, (FireFly versus Star Trek,) Pluggin' my show, all the way until sound check Then my adrenaline forms a geek rage The crowd goes wild as Luke Ski hits the stage! Finally I get to rock the mike And kick these fandom lyrics you all like And if you like my comedy skills You'll buy a disc so I can pay my rent and bills That's my thing, I ain't got no bling Just a few choice fangirls, and a mike in which to sing Those who decry me for living my dreams They're just jealous at their day jobs eatin' Krispy Kremes You may think this theme's a little harsh on thee Well that's too bad cause it's the truth about the great Luke Ski *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* *the great*… *Luke, you're a genius!* Verse 3: You must be a jerk if you say that you're proud Of all you've accomplished, it's just not allowed Milestones it's taken me years to achieve I celebrate, cause in me I believe I'll say I'm great and ignore and their wack ilk Ain't gonna steal any more of my self-esteem And I'll win the Pegasus for best rap filk (Yeah?) In the year Twenty-seven-thirteen This is Dementia: The Next Generation And I'm the Jean-Luke of the Federation It's revolution time! Are you ready? (Yeah!) I'm the 'G-R-8', to the 'Luke', to the 'S-K-E' Oops, I meant to say 'I'… Uhh, 'cause 'S-K-I' spells 'Ski'. I no longer have to justify The things I do or what I say And if I never make it big, that'll be okay But if the time does come, watch my stardom rise I'm exhalted in the worshipping nations' eyes And I've gone ego mad, from all my fortune and fame I'll grab the mic and scream, ("WHAT'S MY NAME?!?!") (And you'll say,) *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* *the great*… *Luke, it is your destiny.* That prophecy you wrote? Well hey it just came true! Right now my default voice is mine, and it's sayin' "Screw you!" To all the haters, rue! I've hit my destiny! And now you know what put 'the great' inside *the great*… *Luke*… *Ski!* (Spoken:) YES! IT IS I! THE GREAT LUKE SKI! THE OUTCAST MUSICAL JESTER OF SCI-FI! EMISSARY OF RAP DEMENTIA! AND THE FUNNIEST MOTHER-FILKER OF ALL TIME!… (music stops, the word "TIME!" echoes a few times…) …*Once again, I've alienated our target demographic.*