Lyrics

(We hear members of the All-Keanu Choir talking to each other) It's three o'clock on a Saturday The matinee show up ahead I was a young boy sitting in a movie theater Seeing a film about Bill and Ted TED: Iron Maiden? BILL & TED: EXCELLENT! They said, wow, the adventure was excellent And the sequel soon showed at the mall Found out later the fact was that one of the actors Was not even acting at all ALL-KEANU CHOIR: Dude dude dude, dude dude dude… Dude dude, dude dude dude dude dude… Act in a film, you're the Keanu man And you'll be a big movie star Just as long as you're playing a brain-dead valley boy Cause that's exactly what you are KEANU: Hello. I am Keanu Reeves. I am a movie actor. All the ladies seem to think I'm cute. Some of the men do too. But I am not gay. I am Keanu Reeves. And I'm cute. Give me a dollar Now Hollywood saw he was handsome And the girls all wish they were his wife So they signed him up quickly for flick after flick Though he couldn't act to save his life KEANU: Pop Quiz? Okay, I'll take Pepsi! Yes, in "Speed" he was a hot shot detective A coincidence there through and through Cause while fifty was the speed that the bus traveled at It turns out it's also his I.Q.. ALL-KEANU CHOIR: Yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah… Yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah… Act in a film, you're the Keanu man Act as if you actually can You showed "Dracula" just how damn dumb you are when You said, "Dude, you're pale, go get a tan!" KEANU: I have a band now. It's called "Dog Star". Here's a hit song! "I love you dude, dude, dude! I love you dude, dude, dude! I love you dude, dude, dude!" We're pretty good huh? In "Devil's Advocate" you tried to act southernly Al Pacino laughed right in your face And in "Johnny Mnemonic", you were so moronic With your head filled up with cyber-space KEANU: I know Hong Kong Phooey! Now Keanu makes films like "The Matrix" And the movies make millions of bucks Packed in the cineplex, they watch special effects While they all say his acting still sucks ALL-KEANU CHOIR: Whoa whoa whoa, whoa whoa whoa… Whoa! Whoa whoa, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa… Act in a film, you're the Keanu man Your redemption's so simple you see Just call up your old friend Alex Winter and then Go and start filming "Bill and Ted, Three"! BILL & TED: EXCELLENT! TED: Bill, I can't believe we're starring in "Bill and Ted Go to Mars"! BILL: Yes, it promises to be a most triumphant film! TED: Let's start our big interstellar concert! BILL: I am Bill S. Preston Esquire! TED: And I am Ted "Theodore" Logan! BILL: And we are BILL & TED: WYLD STALLYNS! (guitar sounds)