“A Flair for the Dramatic...”

Lyrics

[ALISON, spoken] Caption: Dad goes out Dad gets a newspaper Dad goes cruising? Dad picks up a hustler? No, he didn't Maybe he did, I don't really know Who knows? [JOAN, spoken] Allison, what happened? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Dad finally responded to my letter [JOAN, spoken] Oh my God What does he say? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] "Dear Al Big week at the Fun Home Couple of kids from Lock Haven wrapped their car around a tree And I ended up working two eighteen-hour shifts Bad for my blood pressure Anyway, that's why I've been out of touch for a bit Oh, by the way, we got your letter Well kid, talk about a flair for the dramatic" [BRUCE, spoken] As far as I see it the good news is, you're human [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] What does that mean? What else would I be? [BRUCE, spoken] Your mother's pretty upset though Not surprising, I guess But I'm of the opinion that everyone should experiment [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Seriously? [BRUCE, spoken] I can't say though that I see the point of putting a label on yourself There have been a few times in my life when I thought about taking a stand But I'm not a hero Is that a cop out? Maybe so It's hard sometimes to tell what is really worth it [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] God, I just— [JOAN, spoken] I'm sorry [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] The tone is what I can't stand It's so typical, so all-knowing He has to be the expert Lots of advice and wisdom on things he doesn't know anything about! I'm gay! Which means I'm not like him And I've never been like him and he can't deal with that He still wants to be the intellectual, broad minded, liberal bohemian But he can't pull it off 'cause he can't deal with me And you know what? He never could He never could [BRUCE, spoken] I need more coffee Where's Betty? [SMALL ALISON, spoken] She went home Lorna's on now [BRUCE, spoken] Oh Where is your barrette? Put it back in Keeps the hair out of your eyes [SMALL ALISON, spoken] So would a crew cut [BRUCE, spoken] If I see you without it again, I'll whale you Go get Lorna, I need coffee