“Thanks for the Care Package...”

Lyrics

[MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Dear Mom and Dad Thanks for the care package I was running out of granola bars so it came just in the nick of time They sell a kind here I swear is made of paste Nothing else worth writing home about Har har Al I could draw you some posters [JOAN, spoken] Nah, we need 'em tomorrow night [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] I could do it right now [JOAN, spoken] Really? [MEDIUM ALLISON, spoken] Yeah, just some simple drawing, right? Sure So, you want 'em to say...? [JOAN, spoken] We just need some really good "No Nukes" posters [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Right, okay So, uh, I was thinking Maybe something like— [JOAN, spoken] Oh That's funny That's really good [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] This? No, this is just quick and stupid [JOAN, spoken] Who's this? In the photo? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] My dad [JOAN, spoken] That's your dad? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Yeah [JOAN, spoken] He looks cool Did he teach you how to draw cartoons? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Ooh, definitely not [JOAN, spoken] Why's that funny? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Oh, it's not funny It's just, he's more, I don't know, uh, refined? [JOAN, spoken] I think it's amazing that he's cool with you being a dyke [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] What? Could we talk about something else? [JOAN, spoken] Sure Why? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Because I don't know how my parents feel about— I just figured it out myself [JOAN, spoken] Oh [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] About two weeks ago [JOAN, spoken] Huh With who? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] "With who" what? [JOAN, spoken] Who were you with? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Oh, nobody Nobody! Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed I was in a bookstore— [JOAN, spoken] In a bookstore? Nice! [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] What? No! Two weeks ago I was downtown I just wandered into the bookstore I was just browsing, and I picked up this book [JOAN, spoken] Ah, "Word Is Out"​ [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] I was like, "Oh, interviews, this looks interesting" Then I was like, "These people are all, uh—" [JOAN, spoken] Gay? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken & JOAN, spoken] Yes, gay And then I was like "Oh my God, I'm ​a lesb—" (A dyke) [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Yes, a dyke, yes And I totally flipped out And I shoved the book back on the shelf and then I left But then I came the next day and bought the book And then I came back the next day And bought all the other books in that section And then I made myself go to the meeting at the Gay Union And then, uh, well, then, it's now Hi [JOAN, spoken] Hello That's a powerful book [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] It is [JOAN, spoken] So, I should probably go [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] 'Kay [JOAN, spoken] Will I see you at the union meeting tomorrow afternoon? [MEDIUM ALISON, spoken] Uh, yeah I'll be at the meeting I'll bring those posters Finish 'em up [JOAN] Cool See you then Bye, Alison [MEDIUM ALISON] Bye, Joan