Dysfunctional Blessing

Lyrics

[Intro] This is what I call a dysfunctional blessin' Dysfunctional 'cause these spirits was at war But a blessin' 'cause it made me stronger [Verse] I had a lot on my mind, pill poppin' Drinkin' alcohol every day, nonstop Around the clock I was partyin' like an animal Constant, poppin' off at the mouth, not worryin' about the conse- [Verse] -Quences of my actions, packin' a pistol with a Jack Daniels Followin' my dream to become a rapper Steady walkin' the wrong path, a teenager that had People in my ear, sayin' I wouldn't last [Verse] I laughed it off, gang-fightin' in high school But didn't pass at all, steady makin' up my rules You can't fake this, boss, hanging with 18 niggas ready to Break you off, that whatever cost, I'm havin' a rough [Verse] Time gettin' along with guys, they despise me Ready to pop me but did the job real sloppy I wasn't wise, I idolize Kadafi, Scarface, Rocky Guzzlin' sake with my team [Verse] Up in high-speed chases, dodgin' at cops Screamin' at baby mama for not bein' motherly enough But I dodged the mirror, wishin' my vision was clearer Perseverance through snake in the grasses who had me near [Verse] They family actin' happy like they have my back But couldn't provide a tissue for my tear Near the brink of insanity, my house had the spirit of Amityville Mental agony, goddamnit, this shit is real [Verse] Suicidal thoughts, my family havin' Thanksgivin' I'm in the basement poppin' on Tylenol Ready to end it all till I caught a phone call And was asked to go to the hip-hop shop, I dropped the bottle [Verse] Wasn't ready to be a father but I did it, though Second baby mama had a child out of state and I didn't know Workin' odd jobs, had a rap partner who betrayed me We been rockin' ever since junior high [Verse] I married my first baby mama, damn, why A nigga was blind, I just wasted my damn time I got (?), winin' and dine, livin' my life Like I'm single, tryna find a piece of mind [Verse] My preacher at the time was hidin' behind the words of God A false prophet, I was spiritually bonded But what was crazy was I trusted the guy Yeah, he cursed us about a week later, (?) [Verse] I'm thankful for the wife that I got by my side Not the first one, I divorced her faster than a lightning ride With Proof gone I drunk like never before My probation got broke, the judge put out a warrant [Verse] The morning I was on my way to the memorial I was supposed to go to court, he knew I wasn't goin', though I had thoughts of goin' on the run, so far I couldn't do a third D12 album behind bars [Verse] But Kuniva talked me out of it, I got back to my senses Turned myself in, then got the sentence over with (?), sober, legit, drinking alcohol all over again Hustlin', tryna put out my solo shit [Verse] Had a cheerleader tellin' me, don't quit My brother was tryin' but my mother had got sick She was shut in, couldn't do nothin' My father was an alcoholic but he became a supportive husband [Verse] The thought of it had me nauseous I was tryna run away from the pain but she died from natural causes Depression kickin' in, I coulda became a monster But God conditioned my mind state to become stronger [Verse] I'll always have a scar in my heart, nothing less But what's best, when I look back, yeah, I was truly blessed If it wasn't for the trials that I went through I wouldn't be Swift, I was dysfunctional but blessed with this gift [Outro] You're my (?) I got to try, try, try Got to try, try, try You're my (?) I'll be pushin' on so strong Oh, so strong My judge for day I won't beg away I'll be pushing on Pushing on Till my (?), I won't give it all away I'll be pushing on Pushing on Feel the river's bed dry I got to try, try, try I keep- I keep pushing on