He’s a Good Bloke When He’s Sober, but ...

Lyrics

There's a character I've met in my travels And of him in this song I will tell Just listen and you'll be reminded Of someone like him you know well He annoys everyone who is near him Sitting there on his barstool He's a really nice bloke when he's sober But a pain in the rear when he's full With each drink he gathers more wisdom While good manners take a back seat He butts in on your conversation And bores you until you retreat Then he starts on the barmaid or barman With unlimited dull boring junk He's a man of few words when he's sober But you can't shut him up when he's drunk, heh Oh, they're personal friends of the famous Singers, dancers, and sportsmen, and so And they tell all the bad things about them Of good deeds, they don't want to know Repeating themselves as they maul you You're a bloody good bloke, they insist They don't know you at all when they're sober But you're their greatest friend when they're blasted Oh, I'm using the men for example But we know lots of women the same And quite often they're worse than the men are 'Cause no one can talk like a dame, heh They'll hug you and call you "Oh darling" "You're the only great hero I choose" And they're pretty standoffish when sober But come on like a rash when they're boozed So with each drink they gather more wisdom While good manners take a back seat And they butt in on your conversation And bore you until you retreat Then they start on the barmaid or barman While swaying there on their barstools Oh, they're pretty nice folk when they're sober But a pain in the rear when they're full All together Then they start on the barmaid or barman While swaying there on their barstools Oh, they're pretty nice folk when they're sober But a pain in the rear when they're full All together Yeah, but each drink they gather more wisdom While good manners take a back seat And they butt in on your conversation And bore you until you retreat Then they start on the barmaid or barman While swaying there on their barstool Oh, they're really nice folk when they're sober But a pain in the rear when they're full Da-da-da-da da-da