Lyrics

19 EXT. SPOOKY ISLAND - LATE AFTERNOON "Land of a Million Drums" by OutKast begins to play. We sweep across the brilliant blue water. Tilting up to reveal the appropriately-named Spooky Island. Built around a large mountain, the amusement park is nestled into the cliffs and beaches on the west side of the island. STATUE (V.O.): Welcome to Spooky Island, the frightfully-popular spring break spot for college students. 20 EXT. SPOOKY ISLAND PIER - LATE AFTERNOON Visitors disembark the barge, noticeably rowdier. A terrifying statue looks down at them. It raises its arms in a horrifying manner. STATUE (V.O.): Catch our Electrical Torture Paradе, It's A Dead World After All, and the world-famous Splattеr Horn. The gang, excepting Daphne, stops and stares at the giant statue. STATUE (V.O.): Scooby-Doo! And the rest of Mystery Inc.! Oh, it's marvelous to see you! How fanta– The statue starts turning awkwardly as whoever is inside it attempts to get out. One of its giant arms swings, smacking over a passing student. STATUE (V.O.): Woah! I'm so sorry! That's the second time this week. Suddenly, part of a man and his arm slips out the side of the statue. A thin, strange man, Emile Mondavarious, emerges. MONDAVARIOUS: Oh. Thank goodness. Sorry. It's a new toy. I'm just getting up to speed with it. Daphne, the last off the barge with her many bags, looks at him and drops her bags at her feet. DAPHNE: Thank goodness! I was afraid I was going to have to lug those all the way up to the hotel! MONDAVARIOUS: Ah, but that's what Spooky Island's all about–realizing your worst fears. I'm Emile Mondavarious, the owner of this amusement park. VELMA: You seem less... SHAGGY: Spooky. VELMA: ...Than we'd have guessed. MONDAVARIOUS: Oh. Oh, no, I can be pretty spooky when called upon. Oh, I can go... (Growls) Claws and everything. Oh, yes, you wouldn't want to run into me in a dark alley. VELMA: So you're the one who brought us here? MONDAVARIOUS: No. No, what brought you here was your insatiable appetite for a juicy mystery. Mondavarious turns, leading them like a tour guide. Some henchmen pick up Daphne's bags. DAPHNE: The truth is, Mr. Mondavarious, Mystery Inc. is broken up. MONDAVARIOUS: Oh, but that's the beauty of something broken. It can be fixed! And therein lies its potential. And I need you to fix Spooky Island. VELMA: Well what's the problem exactly? MONDAVARIOUS: I believe somebody is casting a spell on the students. 21 EXT. SPOOKY ISLAND ENTRANCE - CONTINUOUS ACTION MONDAVARIOUS: Now, listen and look around. Can you notice any difference between those arriving and departing? They pass a quiet single-file line of visitors waiting to leave. DAPHNE: They look like sober, well-behaved college kids. MONDAVARIOUS: Precisely. And they didn't before they came. They've changed. In other words, a magic spell. Looking back, the gang sees a dude in black with spiky black hair, Brad the Goth, entering, as he spots a stylish, pixyish woman, Carol, exiting. BRAD: Carol! Hey, Carol! How is the island? CAROL: Are you tricking on me? BRAD: Carol, it's me. It's Brad. We've known each other since we were, like, three. Carol continues staring at him, not recognizing him. He gently touches her. CAROL: Back off my grill, son! Carol picks Brad impossibly high over her head and shakes the terrified young man like a rag doll. She tosses him down, and heads toward the barge. Velma, Fred, and Daphne stare in shock. MONDAVARIOUS: I'm terrified. And the young people that come off that barge–the people I love the most–they're in danger. VELMA: I'm gonna solve this one first. FRED: Not before I solve it first. MONDAVARIOUS: Well done. DAPHNE: You guys are going to look like total, total idiots when you're captured and I'm the one saving you. The three head in separate directions. MONDAVARIOUS: Thank you. This is marvelous! Maybe we can celebrate later by having a little Spookapalooza. SCOOBY: R-R-R-R-Rookapalooza? Ruh-oh. 27 EXT. RING OF FIRE - NIGHT Velma is interviewing a skeleton warrior in front of some statues. VELMA: So, you haven't noticed anything unusual since you've started working here? Any weirdos running around? The skeleton warrior shakes his head. WARRIOR: Uh... No... "Creatures Chant" by Danny Saber begins to play. A swarm of tribal dancers emerge from the shadows around Velma, where they blended with the statues. She is startled. They do a Samoan-like synchronized war dance. They chant the strange, unearthly lyrics of the song. Two figures, N'goo Tauna and Zarkos, emerge from the mouth of the structure ahead of them. N'goo is a large, overacting man with a bizarre, non-existent accent. Zarkos is a huge Mexican wrestler. A mask covers the upper half of his face. N'GOO: Welcome, dear victims. My name is N'goo Tauna. This is my evil best pal, Zarkos. You may recognize him from Telemundo, as the famous masked wrestler, Zarkos. Velma's joined by a metal head she met earlier. She notices a group of zombie-like humans unthinkingly singing along. N'goo circles the fire pit in the center of the room, continuing his speech over the ceremony. N'GOO: This enchanted island is a thoroughfare to the supernatural realm. For centuries, it was home to creatures who lived on the island, undisturbed. But then, ten years ago, Emile Mondavarious antagonized these ancient beings by building a theme park here. The creatures are furious, my friends. And I assure you, while you party, they plot their revenge! N'goo points to the fire. It bursts upward, exploding. A giant roaring demon head appears in the flame. N'goo leans over to Velma, gesturing toward the demon. N'GOO: Do my friends frighten you? VELMA: They would. If it weren't for the holographic projectors. Velma points out lenses projecting the demons onto the fire. VELMA: There. And there. And there. N'GOO: What a smart little one. N'goo pats Velma's head like a dog. 26 EXT. DEAD MIKE'S - NIGHT Maryjane, Shaggy, and Scooby enter this outdoor bar. Sections are covered by canopies. A large skull-shaped disco ball hangs from the rafters. Maryjane looks around. A bartender holds up a phone. BARTENDER: Hello? Dead Mike's. (To bar) We got a Mr. Doo here? I got a call for a Mr. Doo. A young dude raises from his seat. MELVIN: Uh, Melvin Doo? BARTENDER: Nah, Scooby. Scooby walks up and grabs the phone. SCOOBY: Rello? MAN (V.O.): Got a bag of, uh... hamburgers here for you. SCOOBY: Mm! MAN (V.O.): Just walk into the dark shadowy part of the forest, where no one can see you. The bartender looks back with concern. SCOOBY: Rokay! Scooby hangs up. Prances toward the forest. Shaggy spots a fifty-cent crane machine filled with stuffed animals beside him. SHAGGY: You want a stuffed thingy? MARYJANE: Oh, nobody can win at those! Shaggy drops quarters into the machine. He works the crane expertly, picking up a plush dismembered head. SHAGGY: Fred says it's a worthless talent. That I should've learned French instead. But I say you don't need to know what "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi" means to love that song! Shaggy easily drops the head in the bin. Maryjane is in awe. MARYJANE: I think being good at a crane machine is way better than French. SHAGGY: Voila. He hands the head to her. She is touched. MARYJANE: Nobody's ever given me a stuffed, dismembered head before. 24 EXT. VOODOO MAESTRO'S SHACK - NIGHT Daphne comes upon this dilapidated shack. She peers inside the doorway and sees... 25 INT. VOODOO MAESTRO'S SHACK - NIGHT The Voodoo Maestro sits in front of a wrapped, store-bought Tyson chicken hanging by a string from the ceiling. He's ready to plunge a knife into it as he mutters ritualistic gibberish and nonsense sounds. DAPHNE: Excuse me? He turns and almost hits Daphne instinctively. VOODOO MAESTRO: What are you doing? Now I have to start the voodoo ritual all over again! DAPHNE: Voodoo ritual? VOODOO MAESTRO: Yes, voodoo ritual. I was about to sacrifice this chicken. DAPHNE: But that chicken's not alive. VOODOO MAESTRO: I know the chicken is not alive, smart little girl. What, did you figure it out when you saw it didn't have a head? DAPHNE: No– VOODOO MAESTRO: Now, what are you doing here? Wh-what do you want? Why are you all up in my voodoo ritual space? DAPHNE: I'm looking for clues as to who's behind the strange behavior of the students. VOODOO MAESTRO: Oh. Well here's a clue. Purple is a fall color. It's the middle of May! DAPHNE: Pardon? VOODOO MAESTRO: Listen, do yourself a favor and get off this island. Go home. Go home before evil befalls your skinny little aerobicized booty. And whatever you do, do not–I repeat–do not go into that Spooky Island castle. The Voodoo Maestro points out the window to a classic Transylvanian castle sitting on a hill. Daphne smiles–she's onto him. DAPHNE: Ah hah! You want me to go up to that castle. VOODOO MAESTRO: Didn't you just hear what I said? DAPHNE: But you're scary. And you knew I'd do the opposite of what you said. So you told me not to go to the castle, so I would go to the castle, where you set a trap to capture me. Unless... Unless you knew I'd figure it out, so you told me not to go up to the castle, so I would think you wanted me to go, so I wouldn't go, just like you didn't want me to! I'll find out what you're hiding in that castle. You watch. Daphne marches out. The Voodoo Maestro stares at the door, trying to work out what she just said. VOODOO MAESTRO: What in the world? 28 EXT. FOREST - NIGHT Scooby arrives at a tree with a scrawled note pinned to it that reads: "HAMBURGERS, THIS WAY," and an arrow. Scooby licks his lips and happily follows the sign. He arrives at a tree with a potato sack that reads: "HAMBURGERS" crudely tied to it. SCOOBY: Ramburgers... (Praying) Thank you. Salivating, he examines the bag. A dark creature lurks behind him. Scooby pulls the tree down with the bag, and it swings back in the demon's face. The creature pulls the sack off of Scooby's head. He shrieks and pulls it back down. The creature snatches it away and roars. Terrified, Scooby claws up the tree, climbing it. He shimmies up the tree, not looking back. He doesn't notice that the tree is slowly bending over. By the time he arrives at the tip, the branches of the tree are brushing the ground. Scooby turns to see the huge, dark creature on the tree behind him, its weight adding to his and bending the tree. Its huge claw swipes at Scooby. Scooby springs off the tree. With Scooby's weight gone, the tree flings back up. The little spot of the monster flies away over the forest, landing on one of the amusement park rides. Scooby runs in a panic back to Dead Mike's. 29 EXT. DEAD MIKE'S - NIGHT MARYJANE: It's been really nice. Suddenly, a screaming Scooby-Doo runs through the entrance of Dead Mike's. SCOOBY: Relp! Raggy! He leaps up into Shaggy's arms, between Shaggy and Maryjane. Scooby points outside wails: SCOOBY: Ronster! Ronster! SHAGGY: A monster?! A bunny mascot runs in after Scooby. He does a fake roar before dancing with the guests. SHAGGY: Scooby-Doo, like, quit fooling around, man. MARYJANE: Aw, I guess I should go. Maryjane kisses Shaggy on the cheek with the dismembered head. MARYJANE: Bye, Scooby! Maryjane goes to pet Scooby, but sneezes in his face. He shakes the crap off of his face. SHAGGY: Bless you. She giggles, guilty. And exits. At the door, Daphne approaches, motioning for them to join her. DAPHNE: Shaggy! Scooby!