Pandering

Lyrics

[HEIDI] WELL, THE BRAND NEW HEAD AT THE LAPD WALKED IN TO ROLL CALL THUMBING THE TIMES SAID [SHERIFF/GIRL 3]: "FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS IS THIS HEIDI WHORE JUST UNDER NOSES, IN FRONT OF OUR FACES PIMPIN HER GIRLS OUT COMMITTING HER CRIMES" [HEIDI] DISPATCHED SOME HACK NAMED SAMMY LEE TO A PARTY AT THE RANGOON RACKET CLUB DRESSED HIM UP NICE, FROM THE HAIR TO THE SHOES CLEARLY KNOWING NO CALL GIRL CRAWLS UP ON A SCHLUB [THREE GIRLS] WELL, HE SPOTS THE POOR CHICK WHO IN TIME WILL BE SORRY AS HE CIRCLES THE CLUB IN A RENTED FERRARI THEY START CHATTING AT THE BAR ABOUT HIS BUSINESS AND HIS CAR AFTER A DRINK, HE SETS THE BAIT [SAMMY] MEN NEED RELEASE, YOU'RE AWARE, BABE AND I WON'T DENY I'M A MAN AND PROFITS INCREASE, YOU'RE AWARE BABE WHEN YOU PLEASE THE BUSINESS PARTNERS FROM JAPAN HOW BOUT I BOOK A SUITE AT SUNSET TOWER HOW BOUT YOU PENCIL IN ABOUT AN HOUR HOW BOUT TOMORROW NIGHT HOW BOUT YOU BRING TWO FRIENDS? [GIRL 2] ALRIGHT! [HEIDI] HE'S ON THE PROWL FOR [ALL] PANDERING, PANDERING, PANDERING PANDERING, PANDERING, PANDERING [THREE GIRLS] WELL THE GIRLS WENT TO MEET THAT SAMMY LEE [HEIDI] AND TWO JAPANESE COPS WHO WERE THRILLED TO BE THERE [THREE GIRLS] WE KNOCKED ON THE DOOR OF THE PENTHOUSE APARTMENT THEY GREETED US WARMLY AND PULLED UP A CHAIR [GIRL 1] THE MEN LAID DOWN 5 GRAND IN CASH [GIRL 3] AND THEY SAID THEY'D LOVE A LITTLE SHOW [GIRLS] WE START STRIPPIN DOWN AS WE PUT ON SOME MUSIC THEY PULL OUT THE HANDCUFFS AS WE PULL OUT THE BLOW [HEIDI] I'M TAKIN THE GARBAGE OUT, WHEN LIKE A TORRENT [ALL] THE LAPD COMES BRANDISHING A WARRANT [HEIDI] STORM RIGHT THROUGH MY DOOR FIND COKE IN MY SOCK DRAWER AND TRAVELLER CHECKS SIGNED BY CHARLIE SHEEN [ALL] TRAVELLER'S CHECKS SIGNED BY CHARLIE SHEEN [HEIDI] FOUR COUNTS OF [ALL] PANDERING, PANDERING, PANDERING PANDERING, PANDERING, PANDERING, PANDERING [HEIDI (spoken) (excluded in recording)] So, I was thrown intro the back of a police car and I watched my Beverly Hills home that I worked so hard for disappear into the distance through the back window. I was a wreck, yes, but I had been in the Hills long enough to know that there was no such thing as bad publicity. The one thing you don't want is no publicity. So, imagine my shock when I get out jail the next morning and my arrest is conveyed only through a tiny, tiny little blurb in the LA Times. I mean, the Ziggy comic strip was bigger that day. So, I said fine, if no one will notice, if no one is interested, I, ever thе self promoter, will make thеm interested. This isn't your average arrest here. This is a story that Hollywood, let alone the world, had never seen before. So, I made a little ring to an old friend at the LA Times and I dropped every salacious detail of this made for primetime story. And she listened… (She picks up the phone) Hi, I'm calling for Shawn Hubler. This is Heidi Fleiss [ALL] PANDERING, PANDERING, PANDERING PANDERING, PANDERING, PANDERING [THREE GIRLS] SOON HOLLYWOOD IS ALL ABUZZ [HEIDI] AND HUNGRY FOR A SLUT TO SHAME [ALL] THEY'RE ALL SPECULATING AND CALLING AND BEGGING A POOR LITTLE HEIDI TO NOT DROP THEIR NAME SEEMS BILLY IDOL'S NOT IMMUNE HE'S SWEATING THROUGH HIS UNDERWEAR [TWO GIRLS] HIS PUBLICIST TRIPS OVER EVERY RESPONSE: SAYS: [PUBLICIST/GIRL 3] "THERE MAY HAVE BEEN SEX BUT THERE WAS NO COMMERCE THERE" [HEIDI] THEY'LL SAY THAT THEY HATE YOU, BUT REALLY, THEY LOVE YOU [THREE GIRLS] AND EVEN IF NOT, THEY'RE AT LEAST THINKING OF YOU! [ALL] PRESS CIRCUITS CANNOT FAIL SO LONG AS YOU'RE ON BAIL AND NOW THE BIG WORD ON EVERYONE'S LIPS IN HOLLYWOOD IS PANDERING PANDERING PANDERING PANDERING PANDERING PANDERING PANDERING PANDERING PANDERING