Another Terrible Day

Lyrics

[MR. D] Oh, you're alive I suppose that's good news for you But it means a lot more paperwork for me So don't expect me to be happy to see you Of course, being alive is temporary (spoken) So, maybe if I go away and play pinochle for a few hours, things might improve. For me. Not for you. You'd be dead.​ [PERCY, spoken] Where am I? [MR. D] Great! You haven't been debriefed This is way out of my pay grade Which is saying a lot 'Cause I don't get paid (spoken) Someone find Professor Hay-For-Breath and tell him Peter Johnson is awake, so he better clip-clop over here! [PERCY, spoken] It's Percy Jackson [MR. D, spoken] Whatever! (sung) Just another terrible day At Camp Half-Blood Where everything's the worst Just another terrible day When you're in charge It's like you're cursed (spoken) Well, technically, I am cursed. One romp in the woods with Zeus' favorite wood nymph, and you're stuck running a summer camp for a bunch of needy half-bloods! [PERCY, spoken] Half-blood? [MR. D, spoken] Yeah, half-god, half-mortal. Does no one watch the orientation film? [PERCY, spoken] Did you say half-god? [MR. D, spoken] Yeah. And I half-care.​ Who's next? Silena Beauregard! [SILENA enters, crying.] [MR. D, spoken] Oh, great, she's crying.​ [SILENA, spoken] I was walking in the strawberry fields with Charlie Beckendorf and we were holding hands and everything was totally normal. And then I kissed him and all of a sudden he started growing sunflowers. Everywhere! [MR. D] Look, kid I hate to be the one to tell you But I think that Charlie Beckendorf was also holding hands with a nymph That doesn't wanna wish you well To tell you the truth The best thing is to break up with the guy (spoken) 'Course, who am I to give relationship advice? I'm literally the god of alcohol.​ [SILENA, spoken] But he loves me! [MR. D, spoken] He loves you not! Next! (sung) Another terrible day At Camp Half-Blood Where everything's the worst Just another terrible day I'm the god of wine And I'm dying of thirst [PERCY, spoken] Wait, did you say you're a god? [MR. D, spoken] Dionysus, god of wine. The gods are real. Yippy skippy. Ah, Katie Gardner. I see you've injured your arm.​ [KATIE, spoken] I fell off a pegasus (giggles).​ [MR. D, spoken] You don't have flying lessons on Thursdays, you have archery.​ [KATIE, spoken] Those arrows are made of wood! Wood comes from trees! I refuse to participate in any activity that encourages the senseless slaughter of our arboreal friends! [MR. D] Oh, gods Give me Ares or Apollo Anyone but the Demeter kids' cabin Now that you've blessed us Go talk to Hephaestus Before I take a knife to my head and start stabbing (spoken) And stay away from the pegasi! Girls and ponies Ah, speaking of ponies.​ [MR. BRUNNER, spoken] Percy! [PERCY, spoken] Mr. Brunner? What are you doing here? This guy is saying all this crazy stuff about nymphs and gods and... what is going on? [MR. BRUNNER, spoken] It's... complicated.​​ [MR. D] Oh kid You have no idea About this place or your former mentor I don't have time To fill you in on the details But look, he's also a centaur (spoken) God! [MR. BRUNNER is revealed to be CHIRON, and whinnies.] [CHIRON, spoken] I did mean to tell you... [MR. D, PERCY] Another terrible day (Mr. Brunner!) At Camp Half-Blood (You're a horse?) Where everything's the worst Just another terrible day (What is happening?) You can hate it here But I hated it first Just another terrible day Stuck with these runts In the muck and mud Another terrible day Oh gods! (spoken) I need a drink.​ (sung) Enjoy your stay At Camp Half-Blood