I Hope I’m Funny

Lyrics

[Announcer] Let's get your hands together And give him a big San Francisco round of applause Mr. Richard Pryor, come on, give it up [Cheers and applause] Thank you, thank you, good evening Hope I'm funny Yeah, 'cause I know niggas ready to kick ass Talkin' 'bout, "You better be funny, muthafucka" Hello Wow, this is very exciting, very exciting I'm glad y'all came Came? Yeah, glad y'all come to the show What?! Don't start no shit now Niggas be startin' a fight and shit in the club Pull out a pistol and shit, clear everything out Niggas never get burned up in buildings They know how to get out of a muthafuckin' situation They do, white folks just panic, run to the door, fall all over each other, dribblin' down and shit Niggas get outside then argue "I left my money in the muthafucka!" Why am I walking? I'm running to keep outta y'alls way I be movin' and shit, make my mind work Feets, and feet—you know, tight shoes make a nigga say anything You ever been like—if you had tight shoes on, tight shoes is a muthafucka, brother They don't need to beat up no nigga down in jail to make him confess Give him a size too small 'Bout an hour, that nigga'll be, "I'll tell!" I used to be really so poor, I'd walk down the street You ever do that, look for money? And pretendin' like you ain't I used to lose money I lost some money once, man, I lost money, man My mother gave me money to go pay a light bill, I lost ten dollars And panicked, 'cause I know mama's gon' kick my ass You know what I mean, that ten dollars, jack And I walked up and this white dude saw me crying on the corner And said, "What's wrong with you, boy?" I told him my story, cat gave me ten dollars I said, "What, gave me ten bucks?" Shit, I was out there every day, crying my ass off How you doin'? Good, good—did you want a drink? Uh, waitress, waitress—no, see, the waitresses are working as fast as they can But see, you niggas have funny orders "Uh, give me a Cutty and a orange juice, and a Coke on the side No, wait, change that, give me two—what you want, baby? Make my old lady a champagne cocktail with a cherry twist Piece of lemon, piece of lemon—ayy, bitch, I wasn't through! Piece of lemon and some turtle soup!"