How to Handle a Woman

Lyrics

(Verse) Blast you, Merlin! This is all your fault! You swore that you had taught me everything from A to Z With nary an omission in between Well, I shall tell you what You obviously forgot That's how a ruler rules a queen! And what of teaching me by turning me to animal and bird? From beaver to the smallest bobolink I should have had the whirl To change into a girl To learn the way the creatures think! But wasn't there a night On a summer, long gone by We passed a couple wrangling away And did I not say "Merlin, what if that chap were I?" And did he not give counsel and say... What was it now? My mind's a wall Oh, yes, by Jove, now I recall (Chorus) "How to handle a woman? There's a way", said the wise old man "A way known by every woman Since the whole rigmarole began" "Do I flatter her?" I begged, him answer "Do I threaten or cajole or plead? Do I brood or play the gay romancer?" Said he, smiling, "No indeed" "How to handle a woman? Mark me well, I will tell you, sir The way to handle a woman Is to love her, simply love her Merely love her, love her, love her" "How to handle a woman? Mark me well, I will tell you, sir The way to handle a woman Is to love her, simply love her Merely love her, love her, love her"