Lyrics

[Intro] (Yo Ralph) Yeah, what's up, man? (There go that girl they call Roxanne I checked her out and I think she's fine) Somethin's wrong with you boy you must be blind (Why do you say that? I don't understand) Don't you know Roxanne's a man (WHAAAT?) [Chorus] Roxanne, Roxanne Don't you understand? Roxanne, Roxanne [Verse 1] Check this out She used to be a dude, around the block Down by law, a certified rock Hangin' on the corner with a can of Olde E Down with the crew, including me We used to play ball in the street Me and my man, before she turned sweet He got into some trouble and he went to jail Let me catch my breath before I tell my tale Speakin' of "tail," check this out This is how Roxanne got turned out He went into the shower and he dropped the soap So homeboys if you don't bring soap on a rope If you mess up and let it fall Just rinse off yourselves and keep your back to the wall You don't bend over, you'll understand Or you'll be like Roxanne, Roxanne [Chorus] Roxanne, Roxanne Don't you understand? Roxanne, Roxanne [Verse 2] When homeboy came out, he wasn't the same Skin tight jeans and he changed his name A pretty pink bow on the tip of his shoe And a polka dot blouse just to hide his tattoo I said "What? My man? His name Roxanne? Walkin' 'round town with a twitch in his can? Naaahhhh, That's not my boy, I know I must be dreamin' 'Cause I know my homeboy used to be a real He-Man" So you think Roxanne's really hot But that's a Jheri-Curl wig to hide his bald spot And if you look at his jeans, you will see a big lump Don't you know Maybelline covers up razor bumps She puts [?] is on the face and [?] on the eyes And if you chisel off the makeup you will find a big surprise You must be blind in one eye, and the other one glass Gettin' all hot watchin Roxanne's... [Chorus] Roxanne, Roxanne Don't you understand? Roxanne, Roxanne [Verse 3] Yo, Educated Rapper, I think that you're dumb 'Cause you're rappin' to a man, and tryin' to get some If you go, I'd rather you'd never fess 'Cause if ugly was a crime, they'd make an arrest If I went, a-with her, I'd carry a gun And a brand new pair of sneakers in case I had to run You're not that smart and that's a fact 'Cause when I saw her, I knew she was wack I told her she was ugly, her nickname should be Mugsy The Addams Family, the fact she was Pugsley Her chest is really hairy, her face is really scary Lyin' to herself sayin' that she's got a cherry She told [her captor/Captain?] Benny passed it off to Lenny Lenny said BS and bet my man a twenty He said "How could you prove it, unless you had to use it?" And I know that can't be true 'cause ain't no way that she could lose it Yo Benny Ben, you don't understand If you bust it out, you bust in a man [Chorus] Roxanne, Roxanne Don't you understand? Roxanne, Roxanne [Verse 4] What about Kangol? Forget about the dude they call Kangol It sounds like a disease you catch between your toes Let's talk about the man that calls himself the Doc Tryin' to rap to the new girl on the block You're not a doc, not even a quack Trying to rap to something that looks like that And if you were a doc, you'd be a vet Talking to a girl who could be a house pet Woof! (Scruffy! Here, Scruffy!) [Verse 5] If you had it all, you should be next to the posse You could [know that all your ladies?] could be found And these will be the treatments that you do Roxanne can go and your other boy too Dermatology is treatment of the skin But that's not enough to help your friend You need ugly-ology, stupid-ology Skank analysis and scab surgery And sissy homo-tosis, we be chopping off the meat That's a special operation to change what you see She said, "Mmm, that's what I need, child." Gave him a number, said "Call me at three" He called her at two because his collar was tight And him and Roxanne hung out all night Things turned out the way he planned Maybe not for him, but maybe for Roxanne [Chorus] Roxanne, Roxanne Don't you understand? Roxanne, Roxanne "What we gonna do now, child?" B-b-beats so fresh, so do what you wanna On the beatbox is Roxanne's grandmama Ah yeah, get down granny Funk it up Yeah Roxanne's a man Yo granny, you wanna sing?